Last Post for 2014!

Now that's original, isn't it? EVERYONE is posting "last posts"; I just had to get on the bandwagon! Please also forgive me if I wax sentimental- it is that time of year!

There weren't any huge events or breakthroughs in my personal life this year. I have been living with my daughter for a whole year now. Amazingly, we get along quite well, and I only pull the mommy voice out once in awhile. We've had our share of struggles this year with finding and keeping employment, and the day to day can be pretty stressful that way. But we keep going. We have some good support from family and friends, and our faith keeps us strong and moving forward.

Personal growth and healing has been the focus of much of my year. I am the classic cautionary tale of burning the candle at both ends, trying to be super-mom, and thinking that my body could handle anything I put it through. Well, it "handled" it alright; I have some chronic health problems, adrenal stress, weight gain, arthritis and fibromyalgia to deal with. I have finally managed to learn how to sleep in. Even though I still get up in the night, I am able to sleep quite well from 11 pm to 7 or 7:30 am. That is a major accomplishment! I really enjoy feeling the benefits of sleep, and I'm quite protective now of my sleep time, as well as my meditation/nap time in the afternoon. Applying principles of the Law of Attraction is also a welcome part of my day. I spent so many years running- literally- through the daylight hours and neglecting my need for spiritual connection and a respite from the demands of my life! Lately I've been on a mission to let my children all know that they need to take time for themselves and nourish their bodies and spirits. A good many things occcurred in my parenting years that I am not proud of, and I think if I had just slowed down and had a more introspective outlook, some of the difficulties in our lives might have been avoided.

So for 2015, it's Onward and Upward! I intend to continue to improve my health, work in my doTERRA business, keep everything going here at home and reach out with love to those around me. This past year, I learned how to be grateful; not a small thing to become aware of! I had an amazing experience a week ago where I was filled to the brim with an understanding of all I had to be grateful for, and it was very holy and special to me to be able to spend the better part of three days feeling that level of gratitude and love. The truth is, they go hand in hand. Ungrateful people- and I have been one from time to time- cannot express and show love in ways others can receive it. Those who genuinely love others are able to do so because they understand and live in gratitude for who people are and in their desires to love and serve. These are concepts I hope my children have figured out, even though I wasn't a very good example of them all the time. I am extremely grateful that I have grown in these, even if it is after my children are grown. I am grateful for the opportunity to reach out, to acknowledge what I have realized, and to change the example I have set.

This has been a wintery week. We have snow on the ground, and it is the coldest we've had since last winter. We took down the Christmas tree and decorations, but left up the lights, because that is such a comfort to me. I struggle with the darkness and the cold, and at this point, I'm reminding myself that April is just four months away! I can't count on March around here; we often get our worst snow storms that month!

I suppose it is unfair to say that nothing of note has happened this year. As I write and think, many things come back to my memory. What looks small to one is huge to another, I guess. I do want to mention our miracle; one of our creditors totally absolved our debt to him! It wasn't large in common terms, but for us it was a huge amount, and it was very unexpected to get his call and tell us our balance was $0. It took several minutes for the reality to really sink in, and I found myself without the words to thank him effectively. God will bless that man for his generosity and kindness. If I ever get the chance to bless him, I will gladly do so!

We celebrated our traditional "12 Days" the best we could this year. Service to others is something my children are known for, and I have always wanted them to have generous hearts, no matter how much or how little they had. We had a good time sharing and surprising, making and including our friends and neighbors in our Christmas this year. Our Christmas Eve giving to each other was sweet, and we all enjoyed a very relaxing Christmas Day. I read 5 Richard Paul Evans books! Granted, he's an easy read and the stories are not complex, but it was fun just to read and snack and enjoy the day here at home without fuss and expectations. I do miss having little ones around, but for this year, it was a perfect day.

I hope as everyone readies for the New Year, that your memories are sweet and precious, and that you also are able to plan and prepre for the days to come. Sometimes it seems like the world is changing fast, and other times, it seems to slow to a crawl. Whatever season of life you find yourself in, I hope you have joy. I wish everyone a blessed and prosperous 2015, and thank you for reading and letting me share my life with you!

Happy Birthday, Samuel

Today my son Samuel is 28. He calls himself the middle child, being my third son out of five of my own children when he was born, but we had four girls and three boys then, with four more children to come after him. He was wanted, and loved, and his older sisters all doted on him!

We were expecting him to arrive in the middle of December, which I thought would work out great, giving me plenty of time to do Christmas things while recovering. Instead, he waited. A neighbor had a son with a Christmas Day birthday, and they celebrated in July on the half birthday. I really wanted to avoid such confusion, and besides, we already had a lot of summer birthdays! I was really grateful when I went into labor about midnight on the 22nd. Sure enough, Sam made his entrance- he always makes an entrance- about 9 am.

In my days of having hospital births but wanting to explore and try new things, I had read up on various techniques that could be used in a hospital but that would take some of the institutionalism out. My OB/GYN was so patient as I brought my ideas in each month! No, the hospitals here didn't use birthing chairs, but he had had experience with them in the East and didn't think they made much difference. (When I finally had one, for Hannah, it DID make a difference for me!) He was also familiar with the LeBoyer method, and agreed to make arrangements with the hospital for me to have it, barring complications in the birth. Near the end of my pregnancy, the new partner in the office became my primary Dr, and he was ok with it, too.

It's not well known, but LeBoyer was a French physician who believed that a child should be born into a relatively dark, warm and wet environment that would mimic the womb, and so help the child to transition to the new world. No bright lights, a relatively quick immersion into a basin of warm water, which continued for several minutes as the child would adjust. Sam's birth was fairly quick and uneventful; the lights were low, he was slid into the basin and it was fascinating to watch him open his eyes, look around and stretch. Then he was placed- wet- on my chest, covered but not wrapped in a blanket. He had not cried, was not "stimulated" or even handled very much by the Dr. and nurses. Samuel picked up his head, looked me straight in the face with his big, blue marble eyes, and stared at me for several seconds. Then he nursed briefly, was taken away for a more thorough clean up and exam, and so was I. The hospital, though small, let the babies stay with mothers as much as we wanted them, so we had a lot of contact throughout the rest of the day and night.(I could never get another hospital or midwife to agree to this, but it was great for Sam!)

In the morning, in true super-mom mode- it was Christmas Eve, after all- I was dressed and standing in the doorway of my room at 9 am, waiting for the Pediatrician, who knew me well, to approve Sam for release. The previous evening, the obstetrician had said that I could go home Christmas morning if I was feeling well, and I had informed him of my intention to go home the next morning, to which he replied, "we shall see". In his defense, he did not know me very well yet. So as he came down the hall, and saw me standing in the doorway fully dressed, he said, "alright, I guess you are going home". My pediatrician got quite a laugh out of that!

So we came home to a very excited household, and later that evening I wrapped Samuel up and hauled him through Kmart as I finished the Christmas shopping. This had been necessary because we hadn't gotten paid until that very day, and I had a layaway to pick up! Remember, this was in the days of my young motherhood, when I sincerely believed that I was invincible! He was born on a Wednesday, Christmas was Friday, and on Sunday, we attended three hours of Church- 50 minutes of which I taught a Sunday School lesson. In the emotion of the season, people said I looked just like Mary with the Savior, and of course, I was flattered.

At six weeks old, Sam became suddenly ill. I was terrified. The older kids had just gotten over a November/early December case of the chicken pox, and I thought his fever portended his own case. However, there were no spots, and the fever went quite high. I was alone with kids at home, made a couple of phone calls and got us a ride to the hospital. No one from my church was available to give him a blessing, so I did it myself, begging God to forgive my presumptuousness and bless my son. I held him as he had a spinal tap, and sure enough, he had meningitis. Fortunately, we caught it very early. He was transferred to a bigger hospital,  but was only in for three days and then sent home. I felt VERY blessed! No complications, and he has not been particularly susceptible to infection since.

The fact is, he was hardly ever ill! Didn't even break a bone until he was a teenager. Samuel loves music and dance, is quite accomplished in both, and has always loved to help out and serve others. He was also known around town for walking, no matter the weather or season! He's still very active today, and I always enjoy hearing what shows he's been to and cultural opportunities he's having. I don't see him nearly often enough, and I value his friendship and efforts to stay connected even through our family "rough patches". He is still wanted and loved, and it has been a great blessing in my life to know him. I am really proud of the man he has become.

HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON!

End of the Year ALREADY?

So much for good intentions! I had actually set up my own web page, but could not get it to do all I wanted. Then the hosting fees kicked in and I finally shut it down. There is so much that I want to do with blogging, but simply haven't found the format I'm comfortable with yet. Now here I am, end of the year, with four months of inactivity on my blog; who's going to "follow" that?

As usual, a lot has been going on here. Spent most of the summer, outside of my New Orleans trip, gardening and running yard sales. We sold a lot of tools and personal items, trying to raise money for our new roof, but in reality, only keeping ourselves afloat. I did have my week-with-the-grandkids before school started. It was fun to have them here, a blessing that my son Alma stayed with us to help out with his two year old, and I was reminded again of what it really means to "childproof" a home!

Got to go to California in October. It was harp business, but we took a day to drive down from Pasadena to Vista, where I grew up. Played on the beach in Carlsbad, showed John around in some of the places I could still recognise. The little town of avocado and orange groves, and winding streets, has been replaced by shopping centers, freeways and massive growth! I did get to see a couple of places I used to live, and we also had a wonderful visit with our harp customers, so it was a great opportunity.  I cried as we left the warmth and sunshine, though; it was already cooler back home.

Bucky has been lonely without Princess, his companion. We want to get another dog, but we are picky and can't afford to buy or pay to rescue a dog. I don't want a male that will challenge Bucky, or a female that won't be a good companion for him. We have feelers out, and trust that at the right time, a dog will come our way.

Cassandra has been through several jobs. It is so hard to find something sustaining with her limitations, and frankly, the people and environments she's worked in have been really difficult. Job Service isn't a lot of help. Even I am signed up now, although working outside of my home again after 30 years is a bit daunting.

Miss Hannah turned 18 last month; I am still adjusting to the concept! She is still in school, so it really hasn't changed a lot of things, but the reality is there, and I am trying to change how I see her. So far, she is happy to be at home, in school, and helping out around here. I have no more "children" at home. That feels odd.

I am supposed to be working online. I've had two bona-fide online jobs, but they are sporadic and not sufficient to sustain us. Mostly, though, I've had scam after scam show up in my inbox, just because I have looked online for work! It is very frustrating to try and sort through all the offers and promises to determine what is real or fake. I am amazed at the lengths these get-rich-quick places go to try and rope you in!

I had a great time at doTERRA Convention in September. Got to spend a whole day with Dr. Susan Lawton, which was an incredible blessing. Saw so many of my friends, even though Convention is impossibly big now and even more exhausting than before! SO many changes and growth in doTERRA! I came home energized to build my team, and have been having two classes a month ever since. I send out information and samples, teach and consult locally, and really hope to make progress and earn a living with doTERRA.

So now we are three days from Christmas and the Solstice is upon us. We have a small tree and decorations, and a few presents under the tree. Because of our finances, this is the least Christmas we've ever had. Even though my children are adults now, I still feel badly about not having the things we need and want. I have been sewing gifts for my grandchildren, and giving away things to my children. Still hoping for one of those Christmas Miracles, not just for "stuff", but because there is so much we need right now. It has been fun to continue our 12 Days of Christmas tradition of making treats for our neighbors and friends. We've had some gifts in return, and it is always fun to sample other people's goodies, as well. I have cooked every day for two weeks! I greatly enjoy the lights we have up, and the lighting of our Menorah for the past five days; the season of light has great significance for me, and I love having candles and Christmas lights! Even the diffusers join in the action, with their colored misting displays! The music always warms my soul, as well; I actually play Christmas music off and on all year!

Another son has a birthday in two days; his birth just before Christmas was very special for me, and he was my "LeBoyer" birth; being placed in a basin of water in a darkened delivery room when he was born, and

allowed to make a peaceful transition into this world. I intend to more fully post about that experience in a couple of days, so stay tuned! He has grown into a fine young man, and I'm very proud of him.

My spiritual journey has continued. Lots of soul searching these past months; seeing things through new eyes and being open to concepts that are changing a lot of my feelings and intentions towards my environment and the world. These are never easy things to define, and I am not preaching any religion or creed, but I expect some of what I am learning will creep into posts and I will get to share more with you as I move ahead.

I won't bore you with too much droning on, especially after such a long hiatus! Going to be more diligent here, explore all kinds of fun things and brag about my children, pets and livestock. I am practicing gratitude more and more each day, and I truly am grateful for my life, the opportunities I've had and have, and the people who enrich my experience. Thanks so much for sticking with me; please stay in contact, keep reading, and even comment once in awhile! I hope to keep mastering this, building my blog, and learning how to make it better and better! Wishing a wonderful holiday season for all of you; no matter what it is you celebrate, or if you are like me and enjoy it all!

New Orleans and beyond!

You know, I had every intention of posting as soon as we got back from the harp conference in New Orleans. In the van on the way home, I began to put ideas and phrases together, excited to share with all of you my adventure. Then we got home...

Life is so amazing. For me, it's a constant whirlwind of what I need to do now and what's coming up. I am one of those hyper-aware planning types- it all gets thought through and I fully intend that everything is going to work out the way I am expecting it to! Unfortunately, not everyone else I deal with is on the same page as I am, so I often get derailed or detoured, and it is a struggle sometimes to feel like I'm back on track and headed in the "right" direction.

We got home late on a Friday night- well, it was really Saturday morning already- and the van had to be returned later that day after we got all of our personal things out, and then delivered some of the harps to Salt Lake. After a few hours' sleep, we got all that taken care of, basically extending our trip that extra day. I was brain dead on Sunday, but hadn't crashed yet. On top of that, John was off to a wedding in Oregon in three days, and while I was looking forward to some quiet time to recoup, that isn't exactly what happened.

So many things to deal with! Garden, animals, family, church, things that had to be planned or arranged, catching up with all I'd missed...it was crazy. While we were gone, the Czar, our Doberman Pinscher, had eaten something and stopped himself up again. Family at home were in a  panic, and we thought he would have to be put down, because he had just had surgery the month before when he swallowed a t shirt, and not only could we not afford another surgery, he hadn't even fully healed yet! Every day of our trip was stress over Czar, getting reports, sending him to a Vet who gave him some medicine we hoped would disintegrate whatever he'd swallowed, praying and hoping that he would at least hang on until we could get back home.  Well, he did; a few days before we got back, he'd started drinking again. I suggested some raw eggs, and he loved those. We came home to an emaciated but playful dog, and we've nursed him back to health and his normal into-everything-ness.

I also came home to see that my black cocker spaniel, Princess, had deteriorated. I'd known for awhile that she had cancer, and her body had never been normal, but it was clear to me that she was slowing down. Last week she reached the end of her life, very calmly and I think comfortably until the last moments when she had a seizure and died in my arms. I am so grateful for the quiet comfort of her presence and her love.

This post is supposed to be about the trip to New Orleans, so here we go! We had a heavily loaded cargo van to take from here to pick up more harps in Texas, then on into my adventure of places I'd never been before into New Orleans. After Texas, we stayed in Shreveport LA, where I saw the mighty Mississip for the first time. I was absolutely amazed at how green everything was. And it seemed like all the trees except the pines were flowering! I later found out that the crape myrtle is profusely planted, and they are really beautfiul trees in several colors. The highway was lined with pines and flowering trees, and it was very wet. I was amazed at how little farming was being done in the big stretches behind the trees, and then I found out that most of the land was swampy and too wet for planting. We did pass through large areas of swamp with water under the elevated roadways. I took a lot of pictures and "checked in" on Facebook in all the interesting places we stopped. Got to eat at a Waffle House on the way home; all my southern cousins talk about it, and now I have been to one!

We got to New Orleans the night before the conference, then unloaded the van right on Canal Street the next morning at 6 am. The foot and street traffic was incredible. For the loading after, I discovered that there WAS an area for trucks behind the hotel, and we used that instead. We were in the historic Crowne Plaza Hotel, on Canal and Bourbon streets. It is not a single structure, but rather several old buildings fused to make 14 floors of rooms, with a pool on the top. Our room, fortunately, was in a newer part of the building, very comfortable, although we did not spend much time there! The hotel ballrooms were the location for the conference and exhibits; we had a great time renewing old acquaintances, meeting new people, making contacts and sales. We were treated by the Harp Society to a couple of buffets; the last was a local food spread, and we really enjoyed the Jambalya and other seafood treats! The Conference went through Friday, but the exhibits were only Sunday to Tuesday midnight; we packed up Wednesday morning and headed back out the way we came.

Our harp distributor, who was footing the bill for everything, took us out to eat at a famous Bourbon street restaurant named Galatoines. Jackets were required for gentlemen, and they had a ready selection available for the unprepared. I took photos of the food, of us, the building....an absolute tourist in a genteel setting! It was obvious that the place had regulars, who chatted and visited with the staff, and there was a very intimate feel to the service and ambiance. I had a wonderful time! John and I took a couple of hours on Tuesday afternoon to walk down to the river and into the French Market district, where I got to sit in and eat at Cafe' du Monde- one of my big wishes for when I was there! It was great, even in the rain! BTW, it really does rain every day in N.O.; at least when we were there! Did the same thing four years ago in Tacoma WA for the conference we worked, as well!

Every day was full and hectic. I met harp legends, and heard wonderful stories of the legends my late father in law and my mother in law are. Even our "rivals" across the way were gracious and complimentary. I even sold a harp or two! Realized that if I'm going to be effective in the harp world, I really need to be able to tune a harp, and play a little. So I have new goals for when my shoulder heals and "hopefully" my life settles down enough to devote some time and energy to that.

The driving itself was uneventful; just long hauls of 8 to 12 hours every day to get to the next hotel we were booked into, and up again early to go again. We did stop in Albuquerque New Mexico on the way home to meet my FB friend Billy, who is a photographer and owns a studio downtown. We also visited with one of John's old friends from Air Force days and picked up his daughter's harp to bring home for repairs. Later that day, we got to see my son Tim, who lives in Farmington. Then we drove until we reached home.

It really was a great trip, and I so enjoyed going places and seeing new things! New Orleans had been a wish for me for years, so when I was asked to go I jumped at the chance. It was an exhausting 10 days, but worth it- even with the worry at home and how tired I was. John and I really enjoyed our time together in the van; talking and comparing notes and renewing our bond together. It was not a "vacation", but it was really nice to have the time and experiences to share. I am grateful that we were home before that awful shooting on the street just down from where we had stayed in New Orleans, and that everyone and everything here was in relatively good shape when we got back. My next "big adventure" is going to be doTERRA Convention in Salt Lake City this September; have my ticket, and my room booked, and really looking forward to my annual romp with my oily friends!

Premature and Totally Unprepared

To be fair, I suppose no one can be "prepared" for a premature baby. In my case, it was 1981; on my birthday, in fact, when I started to have contractions. My General Practice Doctor turned me over to a specialist, who put me on some medication and sent me home to rest. Unfortunately, I did not tolerate it well, becoming nauseous and headachy. After about a week of ups and downs trying to stay home on the drug, I was admitted to the local hospital; the same place I had borne my oldest son 19 months before.

A relatively small hospital, I was on the same floor with women's surgery and maternity. I was placed in a corner room; surgery patients to my left, and the labor rooms to my right. Day and night, I listened to women coming and going-some with great noise- on the labor side. As for me, I was hooked up to an IV, not allowed out of bed for any reason, where I played rollercoaster- they'd turn up the IV, the contractions would stop, I'd get sick, they'd turn it down, I would feel better, and the contractions would start again. My husband and parents would bring my son to see me every few days, and the TV had four channels, so I did not get much in the way of entertainment. No other visitors were allowed. I read books and magazines whenever I felt well enough. Tests showed that my son was doing well, but the big question was whether his lungs were mature enough for life outside the womb. With the first amniocentisis, they were not. Two weeks later, the results were "barely". I held out a few more days, had a serious talk with my Dr, and asked them to pull the IV and see what would happen.

Three hours later, I was in labor again. Personally, I wasn't ever not in labor; they just managed to hold delivery in abeyance for a month! Over the course of the afternoon and evening, I had sporatic contractions- I am pretty sure my poor body was seriously confused at this point. Sometime after midnight they got stronger, and we decided I was really going to have him this time. We let our family know, and in the early morning of February 28, my son entered the world. He shot out so quickly that I watched the Dr. fumble and almost drop him, but he looked healthy and strong, and didn't have any trouble breathing. Six weeks early he was, small- 4 lbs 11 oz- but I was thrilled to have made it and hold a healthy child.

He had to be kept warm. The second day after delivery, the nurses explained that they had to keep him under lights and in an incubator for warmth and jaundice. He had lost precious ounces of weight, so they began to gavage feed him instead of letting me nurse. I was totally unprepared to be sent home the next day without my child; my husband literally dragged me, weeping, out of the hospital. I could not fathom leaving him there. My plan was to return three times a day to pump breast milk so he could be fed. I did, but I was not allowed to nurse him or hold him for very long. I felt like I was abandoning my child, and no one really explained anything to me, or what I might expect. Information came in the moment; as in, "here, you have to go home now", and as I stood outside the nursery I watched them apply the eye pads and put him under the bilirubin lights.

As I have reflected over my experience with the hospital these past 33 years, I have come to realize that the nurses were just doing their job. There weren't any support staff to explain to a young mother what was or could happen, how to prepare, or how to deal with my sense of isolation and fear. Every day when I came to the hospital I had no idea what to expect. I rarely saw the Pediatrician there. We did not have meetings or progress reports, no one but my husband or I was allowed to see or hold our child. Parents and friends didn't even see him  until he came home at 2 weeks old. In the grand scheme of things, that's not so long- only half the time I had spent trying to forestall his arrival- but for me, every day was excruciating. Every question I was asked I had to answer, "I don't know", because I didn't, and as far as I knew, no one else did, either.

Today when preemies are born it seems a whole army goes to work. Other mothers I have known with premature infants have had a lot more support, information and inclusion into the treatment and care of their children. There are groups, and home visits, follow up and mostly, information, that simply wasn't available or given to me when my son was born. The day he reached 5 lbs we brought him home. He saw the Pediatrician like any other child. His growth was relatively normal and he had no defects or significant delays; a little smaller and a little slower to develop than other babies his age, but he caught up to all that within the first two years. It's just that I had no idea what to expect; and I did spend time worrying over silly little things like when he walked and talked, and how much he was eating.

Parenthood is such an intense experience. As a mother, I was faced with emotions that I never knew were within me. There were unexpected and unintended consequences to so many things! Little things, big things, some days my world was just a spinning carousel of trying to figure out which way to turn and what I needed to do for myself and my children. Nine months after Alma's birth, we took custody of two half sisters from my husband's first marriage; his daughter and her younger sister. About the same time, I discovered I was pregnant again. That pregnancy involved moves, surgeries for my son, dealing with an integrating family, doubling the children in my home  overnight, loss and mourning for the girls and for my boys who had to move away from their maternal grandparents, several job changes, and ultimately, a daughter who we thought was being born two weeks overdue, but who I came to understand was really two weeks early. Not a preemie in the strict sense, but over time it became apparent that she was not fully ready to be born, and she paid the price for an "overdue induction".

I am not bitter about my experiences. It was a different time technologically, and people's expectations and understanding of the world were different. I have had to learn how to ask questions, how to assert myself as the mother of an ill child, what to do when something unexpected happens, and how to listen to and follow my gut. It's all a process. I am grateful that mothers today are afforded the help of so many people, that they don't have to wander alone in fear and trepidation along the path of motherhood. Doctors are, by and large, much more aware of the need for parents to be informed and have a say. Hospitals are set up to include the family and make the scary days less scary. Preemie is not the terrifying word it used to be; still not comfortable, expected or desirable, but much more manageable and the outcomes are better. All in all, that's a good thing.

My doTERRA Life!

Trying to make up for my serious neglect of this blog; hope you don't feel overwhelmed with back-to-back posts! Today I wanted to write a bit about my experiences with doTERRA and how it has changed my life. This isn't a "got rich" story, or a "I'm totally healed" testimonial; my benefits from this company are not "big" in terms of something that gets attention, but they have been profound for me. If, after reading all this, you are inclined to want to know more, I'd be happy to answer questions, provide materials, and direct you to places you can get more knowledge. You see, for me, there was a major reason I joined doTERRA in it's incipient stages, WAY back in 2009...

EDUCATION! If you've followed my blog at all, or know me personally, you know I am huge for knowledge. "Input, Input, Input", I like to say, quoting Johnny 5 from the movie "Short Circuit". As a life long reader, investigator, instigator(-oops! how did that get in there?), information dispersion-ist, and extremely curious person, I am always attracted to anything that promises me the opportunity to learn. Especially when it can improve my life or that of my friends and family, and I can pass it on. When I attended my first doTERRA meeting, and was introduced to specifics about how essential oils could benefit my life, and even my wallet, I just had to jump right in. I was very impressed that a major focus of this young company was to educate. They weren't just shoving bottles at you and expecting you to buy. I learned more in two hours than I had in all the years I had been reading about and using "alternative" medicines, including the five essential oils I already had at home from other companies!

To this day, I am learning and growing in my understanding and use of essential oils. There is more information out there than I could probably process in my lifetime, and more research and testimonials are available every day. doTERRA has continued its emphasis on education; providing a vast resource of training materials, third party research, opportunities to learn and grow together as Wellness Advocates, and many forums where we can exchange esperiences and help those who have come along to join us. I could go on for pages about all the wonderful things doTERRA the company does for us, and for others all over the world, but let me just tell you some things about me.

In 2006, I lost the upper half of the middle finger on my left hand. Had it literally ripped off on a lathe. After all the suturing had healed, I was left with shooting pains, numbness, nerve damage to my shoulder, hand and wrist, and that uncomfortable "jumping" effect that often occurs with partial limbs. When I attended my first doTERRA meeting, I was still on heavy duty pain medication, and I wanted to get off that. It seemed to me that essential oils might offer me the relief I needed; particularly the Frankincense oil. At that meeting, however, all I could afford was Lemon, Lavender and Peppermint, and a membership in doTERRA. Over time, as I learned more about different oils and how they worked, I continued to add to my "collection". John was supportive but not really "into" my oils, as he calls them. However, he will let me suggest and apply them to him and the kids, and is supportive of my efforts to learn and use the oils.

Frankincense did make a big difference in my hand. Within two weeks, the jumping and nerve pain had stopped. I still use it daily, because there are still nerve issues in my hand. I have never found an oil I didn't benefit from. With essential oils, you can also often substitute a variety of oils for what you are seeking to do, either through rotation, according to availablity, price, or what particular oil therapy works best for you. I have often had to use a cheaper oil, but still enjoyed the benefits. From time to time I "change out" what I'm using on a daily basis, to let my body experience a different composition and maybe even react in a better way to a "new" oil routine. doTERRA has created blends and products that highlight the natural healing abilities of many oils, and I enjoy using them, as well. I have stopped having migraines since I began using oils every day; learning how to manage my stress, what to do if I feel like a migraine is coming on, how to support my body in the challenges I face. It has been a huge blessing in my life, and also helped my family and close friends- well, those who would listen to the crazy oil lady!

One of my main goals in being with doTERRA has been to help people learn what essential oils can do. It is becoming a more mainstream behaviour, without the stigma that so often accompanies those who seek more natural remedies. Many doctors of all practices, hospitals, clinics, dentistry, spas and wellness centers use and educate about essential oils now. There are major studies going on in several universities that support the benefits of incorporating EO's into everyday life, as well as specialized medicine. We can't make medical claims, or promise specific outcomes- but who can? Even a traditional MD can't promise you results without any complications, or that you will be happy with what he does for you. Much of my own study these past 30 years has involved homeopathic medicine, and it is still what I turn to first. When I need my Dr. I go, but if I can take care of myself, I will. doTERRA has made much of that possible for me, and I am truly grateful.

Sometimes people ask me what my favorite oil is. That's a hard one! I couldn't neglect the benefits of the Balance blend, Lavender, Wild Orange, the Ginger, Peppermint or Cinnamon I put in my breakfast, my beloved Frankincense, Eucalyptus, Patchouli, OnGuard blend and products, or the Lemon and Slim and Sassy oils I add to my water each day. For aroma's sake, there is nothing like the Rose Lotion, and I am positively addicted to the scent of the Deep Blue blend. It's for muscles, but it also opens up your sinuses and can soothe a cough. So you can see, I really can't choose a favorite; I truly love them all! Even woodsy Vetiver, which took me awhile to adjust to, but it's ability to soothe and calm is incredible.

All along, I have intended to get out and make money with doTERRA. Friends who joined just before me, and some even after me, have done very well building a business. They travel and do all kinds of things that I just drool over. But that really hasn't been a part of my life. I have held some classes, gone a few places, and I have an online presence in the doTERRA community, but getting out regularly and having that financial success has been elusive. I figure when the time is right, it will happen. doTERRA isn't showing any signs of slowing down. There are more products, more people using them, and more evidence that they are effective. I do enjoy my role teaching and supporting, sharing information and continuing to learn myself. I have met and continued relationships with wonderful people who inspire me and bless my life daily. I can't ask for more than that! It is truly a privilege to associate with the leadership of this wonderful company, and to continue to have the opportunity to learn and grow alongside of them.

This is the relatively brief version of my history and activity in doTERRA. I could never list all the reasons I love EO's, all that I have learned, the wonderful experiences and my deep, deep feelings for this company and those I know and love in it. Even expressing my gratitude as I have here isn't enough. I have had "light bulb" moments of clarity and understanding that have had a profound effect on my life. Mentally and Physically I am not the same woman I was five years ago when I sat in a room and listened to a Master introduce me to the potential oils could have in my life. He was just the first; all those who have, and continue, to teach me, light the path so I can make my own informed choices and pass along my own experiences and knowledge. It has transformed how I see myself and others, and empowered me to help in situations where I used to just wish I could. That's what doTERRA means to me.

As I said, I am happy to explain, direct and help others make their own discoveries about doTERRA. I'm not a high pressure salesman, and I don't set quotas or other expectations. I want people to know and love essential oils as I do; and then you can choose how you want to use and share them in your life. Post your questions below, email me (loryoils@gmail.com) or contact me on my doTERRA Facebook page: Joyfully Oils 6909. My website is: www.mydoterra.com/joyfullyoils.  I hope you'll be able to learn and grow with me!

Time flies when you're having WHAT????

I could really use being more than one person! I have so many "good" intentions for all the things I want/need to do, but I simply can't get to everything. No matter how much I try to streamline, schedule and make plans so I don't get stressed out, there is always something to thwart my expectations.

In the past two weeks, I have continued in the greenhouse, planted some flowers, we got the potatoes in, stabilized the chicken yard- more on that later- dispatched Sammy to a new home, become more familiar with my online work, did a cleanse and restore program, started walking and using an exercise ball.

I am really pleased with the results of layering in my garden. The kids and I have spent three years following the "Eden" plan; essentially, putting down layers of newspaper/sawdust, compost/manure, and cut grass. The result has created a soft, mulched garden bed. I gave up the raised beds, leveled everything out, and have actually added about 6" to the height of the garden. Theoretically, I could add on infinitum, but after this season I am probably going to wait a year for my big compost bed to finish breaking down. John built my irrigation system last year, and I can water the entire garden all at once, which is really a relief. I'm still hauling hose for the beds around the greenhouse, and in the greenhouse, but that's not such a big deal. This year Kirah asked for her own section to garden, so she has about 10' x 8' to do as she wants. Because of our usual first-of-June freeze, I won't put any plants out in the garden until the second week of June.  It is always so fun to me to spend a day putting the transplants out; instant garden!

After Sammy left for his new home, I decided to release the new chicks from their enclosure and build another brush pile in the yard for them to shelter in. Joseph and I went out and worked around, and unfortunately, Bucky and Princess got all excited about the chickens and managed to find several ways to breach the fence and chase chickens! I think it was just fun for Bucky, but Princess was serious about having chicken for dinner. We had a heck of a time corralling them in each escape, and I finally started putting them on a lead when they went outside. The one hen that was already injured by Sammy finally died; it was just too much for her. Joseph got everything battened down, and they haven't been able to get in since. I have had more than one nightmare in the past week that involved chickens and dogs, so I'm glad that's resolved!

On top of that, it became obvious in the course of a couple of days that something was wrong with Czar, the Doberman. He couldn't keep anything down. He has been known to eat socks and then throw them up, but this situation was not resolving itself, so we took him to the Vet. Turns out he had swallowed parts of a tshirt, and they had lodged in his intestines. Monday he had surgery to remove them, and hopefully he's coming home in a day or two.

I'm becoming more familiar with my work on the computer. Still is taking up more time in study and preparation that I had expected, but I'm doing ok. It's finding time, then getting everyone to leave me alone for an hour or two, that is proving to be a challenge. Even when I make sure they all know when and that I'm not available, I still get interrupted. It's life, I know- but I really want to be focused and do a good job.

The doTERRA Cleanse and Restore program is really doing a lot for me. I am just over half way, have let go of a few pounds, and feel more energetic. I'm very pleased about that. Am watching my diet, eating only my homemade "healthy" chocolate, and moving more. The swiss ball is fun; Hannah and Princess react whenever I slide off, but the stretching feels really good and it is supposed to strengthen my core, which I really need.

So my life is full, and not looking to get simpler anytime soon. I am looking forward to the summer weather, the trip to New Orleans, and anything else that might come my way. Hoping to be open to whatever happens! Leave me a note about your summer plans, and I hope we can all enjoy each other's experiences!

Sammy Has To Go!

You might remember that when I went back into the "chicken business", I acquired a free rooster. His name is Sammy- named by his former owner, and he's French; a Faverolle rooster. Exquistely gorgeous and brilliantly colored, I was so thrilled to get him! He took right off with a new flock of ladies, and as the months have passed, he's become increasingly protective and vociferous. Anyone in the vicinity will hear from him! Around here, the noise isn't such a big deal, as we have other flocks with roosters nearby.

The big problem with Sammy is that he will attack almost anyone who enters his domain. He has it in for me, since I feed, water and collect eggs every day! You would think he wouldn't bite the hand that feeds him, but he'd be more than happy to peck my legs or scratch my face. I can't go out there without a tool in my hand or someone to keep him at bay. It's rather stressful when it's time to clean the coop or do something else out in the yard.

So my "hot" rooster has to go. I am trying to trade him for a Dominique or another calmer breed. Roosters are usually a pretty common commodity around here. I have feelers out and am hoping to trade Mr. Excitement for a peaceful companion to the ladies. There are currently seven layers, and I raised eight more from chicks this Spring; 5 Americaunas and 3 Dominiques. Last week I put the chicks out in an enclosure in the chicken yard. They are doing well, and I plan to let them out with the rest of the flock next week.

Despite the rain and colder weather this week, Spring has sprung. There are plants in the greenhouse, I put down some more flats, and planted beds of lettuce, spinach and peas. There have been early greens to harvest and the perennial beds to put in order. In a week or so I'll put the potatoes in, as well.

Miss Whiskers is quite a caution. Three weeks ago  all the male suitors were hanging around, and we were pretty sure kittens were in our future. It is really funny to watch her adjust to her new status; she's filling out, sleeping and eating more, and we are hopeful that the "wild kitty" will permanently settle down.

In six weeks I'll be headed to New Orleans for the 41st American Harp Society Convention. John is helping to man the Harps International Booth. We will also take a truckload of harps from Utah to Louisiana, although we are hoping to not bring any back! I am very excited to be included and function as support staff, as well. I've never been further east than Nebraska, and I have always wanted to see New Orleans. It's really generous of our distributor to  include me, and I'm so grateful for this opportunity.

I am fortunate to have many things to focus on and do; I thrive on the variety and even the challenges of my life. It's great to have work, a home, my family and everything I am interested in. I am grateful as well for all of you who read my posts and stay in touch. Thanks again!

Neverending Life Lessons!

You thought I had dropped off the map, didn't you? Truth is, I have had several personal challenges in the past six weeks, and trying to document and sort through what was going on was just too much. Three major events/issues were occuring all at once, and yes, I got overwhelmed.

Number one- I have needed to bring in some money to keep us going, beyond my current resources. I heard about an opportunity to work from home for an international company, 10-15 hours a week. Sounded perfect! I was accepted for the testing, downloaded the 160 pages of material, and proceeded to study. It was one of those one-chance tests, so I was pretty stressed about passing it. Only I didn't. That led to more stressing about finances. Three weeks later, out of the blue, I get offered to take the test again. More studying, praying, lots of focus and devoting a lot of time to it, and I passed. Thought I had it made! Then I start getting more study materials, more tests and practice on the website to fully learn all the standards and procedures. I am still not done getting it all figured out, even though I have been working for about a month now. There are updates, webinars, formats change...it has seemed to me like this is really taking over my life, and it's a lot more than 10-15 hours a week! I am hoping it will lessen as I get more proficient.

Number two- In the midst of all the studying and testing and stressing, I started having chest pains, and my blood pressure went up into the 200's. Everybody in my life freaked out, even me. All my health progress went down the tubes. Went to the ER a couple of times, and all I got was a migraine and "normal" results. The second trip was actually in an ambulance- one of the most terrifying rides of my life. People, MOVE OVER when you see- or hear- those guys coming. I could see out the windows and there's no way on earth I would ever want to be behind the wheel in an ambulance. The benefit of sending me up at that point was to establish again that I was in serious trouble, although it wasn't a heart attack, and also so I could be referred for a stress test. A few days later I went up for that. Words cannot describe how awful I felt after the chemical injection; took me two hours to even start to feel normal! But all that came back normal, too, and it has really helped me to know that I don't have heart disease at this point. My Chiropractor has continued to help me deal with all of this, and my blood sugar has stabilized along with my blood pressure and there are no more chest pains. I am cleansing and exercising, and feeling a lot better about everything.

Number three- Not quite as easy to define. Spring. Family. Gardens. Chicks. Weather. I am always full of possibilities, dreams, plans, my own expectations for what I ought to be able to accomplish. Feeling ill and scared that I truly was headed for stroke or heart attack has really impacted my ability to enjoy Spring, plan and especially do all the things I want to. The mental adjustments the past two months have been like pendulum swings; positive and planning one moment, focusing on numbers and scary things the next. It hasn't been until the past three weeks that I've started feeling like I'm going to be ok and had the strength and focus to deal with being normal again. Well, normal for me! The pots are on the porch, waiting to be planted- it's still a bit early yet. My fountain is running in the front yard, framed by gorgeous tulips. Lots of family things being planned, I'm working in the greenhouse, raised some chicks that just went outside today, and we seem to be past that nasty stretch of cold temps from last month! Gaining some equilibrium, trying to schedule and have a new routine. So I'm hopeful and moving ahead.

Now it's the first of May, birthdays and graduations ahead, warmth and planting and letting go of the difficult winter, as well as 50 lbs of belly! I am serious about dropping weight and being able to wear clothes comfortably again. Getting all my systems on board, and being extra careful about what I'm eating, how I'm feeling, and what I expect of myself and others. Balance is the keyword for May!

Thanks for sticking with me and for sharing my posts with others. My audience is very small at this point, but I'm hoping it will grow and my experiences can touch others. I would love to hear your own Spring adventures and what you have planned- until next time!

Springing Into It!

Isn't it amazing how everything seems to change with the vernal equinox? As I have touched base with friends and family across the country, even those with snow still on the ground express their joy and anticipation for spring to come. Most of us have plans for gardens, projects, even trips and looking ahead to summer. Something about the days lengthening, the weather warming (most days!), and the spectre of school ending seems to trigger all kinds of emotions!

Of course, I have my share of plans, too. Seedlings in the laundry room are growing already. We had our first yard sale this weekend, despite the 20% chance of showers. What we actually got were three brief BB size hail storms; not enough to close things down, but I was praying really hard that they would pass and the sun would come out! Thankfully, that's exactly what happened.

Had a hard time with our last "customer". His wife had sent him to look at a woodstove we have for sale. He showed up, talked me down in price, then said he had to go home for his cash. Thirty minutes later he comes back with a friend in tow, and they inspect the stove all over again. He's relying on the friends' counsel, and to me, it doesn't look good. I had told another gentleman after he had gone for his money that the stove was sold; could have had a sale right then and there. So after these guys look it over, I am told he has to think about it "for a few minutes" and will be back. About this time I am really angry- for the waits, that he hasn't followed through, and that I sent another potential customer away. Of course, he has not returned, and I am pretty sure his friend talked him out of buying the stove. Am going to put it online for sale; we need to move it.

We are planning on having a yard sale every month through the summer. There is a lot of stuff waiting to be sorted through and dealt with. Yard sales are very popular here; the same people always show in the first moments of the first day. It's like watching reunions in your front yard while they greet each other and compare notes! Some of them get picky about what you have, and what condition it's in, and especially, how much you think it is worth. I am pretty hardened to that stuff; have taken to just refusing the "pennies on the dollar" offers. Most of my items sell, so I don't worry about it too much.

Spring has sprung, and so we are rejoicing in the promise of warmer weather and all the things we have planned to do. I am getting a few chicks to add to the flock, and we've been offered some bunnies to "naturalize" out in the chicken area. They have the back quarter of the property. We were advised that the bunnies could live under our rock pile, where they will burrow and live as they would naturally. I'll provide hay and leftovers to keep them healthy. It should be interesting to see how the two species get along together; chickens are up all day and sleep at night, and the bunnies, of course, are nocturnal. I am hoping that allows them to inhabit the same space.

My year rolls along pretty much in the same pattern. I'm not really big on change. I like predictability, and I like that people can count on me to do the things I do. But somehow, in the Spring, I am open to new ideas and projects and the promise of how they will develop over the Summer. I don't feel that way in the Fall, when I have worked all summer and am still harvesting and preserving. In the Winter, I'm not inclined at all to embark on new projects; I simply want to hibernate and read until the cold subsides! This year I have already had a number of changes, and I am still settling into new roles and responsibilities, so perhaps that is why Spring has come early for me. I really am looking forward to the new path my life is taking, even amidst the normal things that I continue to do. I am grateful for my readership and hope you'll enjoy having a peek into my life! Share your own thoughts and experiences, and we'll learn and grow together.

Too Much Fun in the Sun!

   It's sunny and warm in Utah; right around 60 degrees every day! Around here, anything warmer than 40 means you break out the short sleeves and capris. So, besides starting my flowers and veggies in a sunny window, I have been ambitiously tackling one of the sheds and the backyard in general.

   As some of you know, my oldest daughter lost her husband last year. For the last two years of his life, he was ill and not able to do very much. C. had the full burden of his care, plus the large home they owned. So you can imagine that not a whole lot got done. My two youngest and I moved in a few months ago to help her deal with a lifetime of possessions and the need to keep the house standing. It has turned out to be a lot more than we thought, but we are making progress and really enjoying being together. Another fortunate part of this is that her home is right next door to the family business, so we all maintain our contact and involvement with each other. It was really nice to only have to move next door!

   A lot has been said about change. It can be good, it can be bad; a challenge and an opportunity. I am typically a "jump in first and look later" person. I have had plenty of reasons to regret that, but there are also many times when it proved to be the right thing to do.

   So here I am at my daughter's, enjoying her company, my youngest (albeit older teens) two, my cocker spaniels- Bucky (Buckskin) and Princess, my cat (Behira) comes and goes between the houses as he pleases, and my parakeets chirp away in their sunny window. My daily demands have changed, but I am still pretty busy. It has also given me the opportunity to deal with some health problems that I've been ignoring for years. I admit that my priorities are not the same as most people would think they should be; my focus has been my family and our lifestyle. I have not concerned myself very much with myself as a person!

   The current challenge is this house. We need a new roof, several other major repairs, and there is enough clutter and general un-tendedness to keep anyone busy for years! This week, we took everything out of the garden/auto parts shed, sorted and threw stuff away, and there are still items I haven't identified! I think that man kept everything that ever crossed his path, and there are multiples of any tool or part that you can name.

   I have signed on for a long term project. My conservative estimate is 3-5 years. I may or may not stay here to finish it; perhaps circumstances will change, my daughter remarries, or the whole place goes up in flames! (that's a joke) I am not particularly focused on the whys and hows, I just want to be here and do all I can while the opportunity is available. In the meantime, J. and H. will continue to grow up and probably move on with their lives. Maybe I'll do well enough with doTERRA that I can hire the work done. We are going to crowdfund the roof; right now, keeping the payments up is all we can do. There's a lot ahead, and I sincerely doubt I can possibly imagine what lies before us.

   Today I am feeling the effects of spring sunshine and overwork. I am happy. I am choosing to do what I love and want to, surrounded by people who love me, and regardless of what is in the future, I intend to keep loving and giving and doing more than I reasonably should. I invite you to follow my wacky journey by following my posts! It should be a blast!

Advice for New Moms

This morning I read someone else's blog giving advice to new mothers. It was an interesting insight. This mother has two children and is pregnant with a third. There is no doubt she's "been there", but her perspective and counsel from the experience baffled me a bit. I got to thinking about what I would have to say to a prospective or a new mom. So here it is:

1. His attitude (assuming there's a "him") makes just as much difference as yours. The truth is, parenting is supposed to be done by a female and a male. I acknowledge that the birther and primary caregiver is usually the mother, but if you don't have help and support, and the same expectations and philosophies, it is going to be a rough trip. This starts even before you get pregnant; preferably, before you married. I didn't think it was so important, and my first marriage was to a man who wasn't very interested in supporting me during pregnancy and birth, nor did he really concern himself with how we would raise our children. Being LDS at the time, his response was, "in the Church". Well, I can tell you, if there are problems in the home, no religious upbringing is going to save those children. It is more likely that they will grow up to see your hypocrisy and you will lose them. This applies to any area of parenting where you two obviously don't agree, one tries to cover for the other, you play "good parent/bad parent", etc. So get that settled upon, at least in general, before you make either a commitment to each other, and especially, a commitment to a child.

2. Educate yourself. Take childbirth and parenting classes, preferably together. READ. One of my biggest disappointments when I had my first child is that I did not have a "classic" birth; it was long and hard and I panicked because it was not what I expected. The Drs. interventions to speed up my labor were an unwelcome surprise. In this day of YouTube, you also should have access to a myriad of birth and parenting options, stories and examples. You can read books, watch videos, and get a really good idea of the many ways you can approach pregnancy, birth and parenting. I personally think this is a great thing to do in some degree as a couple, with discussion. Don't be frightened, or seek after the horror stories. What is terrible and over-dramatized in one person, is normal or just something to deal with in another. Parenting will have plenty of ups and downs and surprises; you don't need to be worrying about someone else's!

3. Pregnancy can be a challenge. But it is also a joy. I wish I had focused more on all my new discoveries and my anticipation rather than being uncomfortable, or trying to avoid horror stories. Feel free to tell those well meaning drama queens that you don't want to hear how much they hurt or how awful certain things are. You can't know in advance if you'll have a quick, easy, long, complicated, cesarean, early, late, induced, or-any-other-type of birth. Learn what the possibilities are, and pray that you will be safe, healthy and happy. If you have a family history that concerns you, discuss it with your Dr. or midwife. Encourage your husband to do the same. Supportive family members and friends can also be a great resource, but again, don't get caught up in all the warnings and even their expectations of what your experience will be. It will be unique to you!

4. OK. Some things do hurt. Being big and kicked at constantly. Not fitting into your clothes, car or a chair the way you expect. Rude or thoughtless comments about you, your choices, your appearance, your presumed ability- or not- to be a parent. Most of it will pass. You're emotional, he is too, and hopefully, you won't take it hard or hang onto the hurt. Labor itself is not a walk in the park, although I have met women for whom it was a 20 minute experience. For me, I experienced pressure and hating the equipment far more than what I would call "pain". That came the day after my son was born, and I was really upset that no one had warned me that your whole body hurts from the effort you've made, going to the bathroom can be difficult and different, and you really are a new person with new responsibilities! You will never feel or look at life the same after you've brought a child into the world, and feel that burden of a life dependent on you.

5. Now this blog I read today said to take your newborn around with you, because they sleep a lot and it's easier. I don't agree. Go home and rest. Cuddle together. If at all possible, sleep when the baby does, and be up when he is. If family or friends want to cook and clean and pamper you, let them. After 9 months of growth and change and the intensity of labor and parenthood, you deserve it. So does your husband! Some churches or support groups or families make it a point to send in meals. Be grateful. Even if you "prepared" with food in your freezer or cupboards, the first two weeks at least should be as much rest as you can get. I was given this counsel, decided to ignore it and "prove" that I was up and capable. Then at about six weeks, I would crash and run out of energy, just when the baby started getting more active and it really was time to be back on my feet. I also believe that it is better to acclimate the child to the home environment, let routines and "getting to know each other" happen, before hauling the baby all over. People can't help peeking and poking and wanting to hang over that little cherub. She doesn't need the exposure. Take her when you must or want to, but not purposely dragging yourselves around town, or the country.

6. I will share here my favorite "after birth" experience. During the latter end of  carrying my sixth child, my husband's workplace blew up. It made national news, being blown apart by an explosion at a plant next door. All the windows in our home cracked or broke. We were safe, thank goodness, and the greatest blessing was that the plant he worked at had insurance for this kind of thing. So he continued to be paid. By the time I gave birth, the house was repaired and the workers from the plant were doing volunteer work in the community in return for their regular checks. It was July, it was hot in Nevada, and it was a big relief when I went into labor and had our son. It also happened to be days before the scheduled family reunion that my whole family was devoted to! We made arrangements with our next door neighbors to keep an eye on me and the baby, and husband and five children left me "all alone" for a whole week. It was wonderful. I slept, ate and watched TV with my baby in the recliner. Our friends brought in food and visited a little, but for the most part, I spent my time cuddling, sleeping, catching up on some reading, some TV, phone calls, and getting to know my sweet little boy. I have cherished those memories for 28 years. It was worth it. So again, if you have the chance for peace and quiet, and being pampered, take it.

7. No matter how your pregnancy or birth goes, don't be a martyr. Yes, something bad or unexpected may happen. I have several personal accounts that involve the "surprises" in my life. Yes, they have been painful, and changed my life forever. But you know what? That's called LIFE. In my experience, education is the best way to be prepared before, during and after whatever may come your way. For things you can expect, learn all you can prior to the "event'. If it's ongoing or of unknown duration, research, ask questions, and do the best you can as you go. It is very rarely someone's "fault" for what happens in your life. Mental preparation for possibilities and developing a good attitude about life in general also really helps. You might go under a bit, but soon enough you will float, then swim, then pull yourself out of the deep water. Really. It doesn't seem like it at the time, but things work out. Even when there is no cure, no healing, life doesn't go back to "normal"; even in the face of death and loss, you have it within you to make it through. I have used my faith in God. I hope you will find your own path of understanding and acceptance.

8. Babies are fun. They are also scary, unpredictable, annoying, messy, demanding, vocal but not communicative, wiggly, slippery...and then they become teenagers. There are calm children and the not-so-calm. There are things you can learn to do to help you understand and raise whatever you get. It works best, as I said, if both parents are involved and committed. The real truth is that every stage of life has it's challenges; where your child is, where you are, where others you love and care for may be. Enjoy all you can, stay educated, and let go of what you can't change. No matter whose problem it is! You will find great joy in educating and smoothing the path for your little one(s). There is plenty of advice out there, and no matter what your income or circumstances, you can raise them with joy and knowledge. Even if you do it by yourself. Learn enough so that you can be confident; compare opposing views, listen respectfully to all the advice you will be given, and then do what you know is right and best. This is your child, and your responsibility. Hopefully you intend to be responsible. If  not, love that child enough to let someone who can and will care for it have that opportunity.

9. When I had my first child, I went home after three days in the hospital in my size 4 pants. I was so arrogant! By the fourth, I had to work to get back down to weight, and by the sixth, I had decided that my weight should be about 10 lbs more than previously! I don't advocate being fat and slobby, and not caring about your body, but don't go nuts over how much you weigh, or how long before you feel good enough to get back to regular exercise. Stretching and walking and building up to heavier activity is easier on your body. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, not even yourself! Some women are raring to go and jump right back into exercise, and others don't or can't. It's your body, and you have to decide what you need. I had the opportunity with one baby to put him in a Snugli; a front facing, soft baby pack. I walked with a group at the park every morning. It was great. He was the only one I managed to do that with.

10. Know yourself. And learn to know yourself again after you have the baby! Well meaning people and husbands will try to tell you what is right or wrong, what you need or don't, every angle of the spectrum between the anything goes and the "keep 'em in padding and don't let them out of the house" parents. You have to set the boundaries for your life and your activities, and what you are going to allow in the life of your child(ren). And you will change your mind. Experience, as they say, is a great teacher. It won't hurt your child if you discover that something isn't working and you change it. Well, it will if you are changing every day or on a whim, but honestly, if you are going along and the circumstances change, or the result isn't what you wanted, learn some more and make the changes you want to! Your expectations are going to change all throughout your life. Your child is going to impact you in ways you can't possibly plan for. Keep learning and growing and evaluating what you want. Find the joy, no matter how difficult things are.

This is enough for now. I can't cram all my experiences and reasons why into one post, and that's probably a good thing! I just hope you'll realize that you are on a grand adventure, and while no one can make you any promises, it will be your ride and your expectations that will shape much of what is to come. I believe parenthood can be more joy than struggle; that pregnancy and birth are a precious, albeit "short" time period where you can dream and prepare and anticipate all the good things you want for yourself, husband and child. Look ahead. Have faith in yourself. Become educated so you won't be taken so much by surprise by the things life can throw at you. Hold fast to your faith and your love. You will need them for the rest of your life. Be blessed.

There's Chiropractic, and there's Chiropractic

Now legally, I can't tell you what a Chiropractor can do, or should do, for you and yours. I can say, however, that I have had numerous men of this persuasion in my life, some for good and some not-so-good. Today I thought I'd relate some of those experiences, and give you my personal conclusions. I'm also not recommending any particular Dr. or therapy; just what has helped me.

When I was 12, my mother took me to a gentleman down town. I honestly don't remember much about it. This was my mother's "Adelle Davis" phase, and we were busy trying all kinds of new things. I had a few visits, there was some discussion and warning about a disc between my shoulder blades, and that was the end of it. Fast forward to college, and I think I also saw a Chiropractor after I rolled my car. That would have been brief, as well.

In the 80's, we were living in Henderson, NV, right outside of Las Vegas. Not the Henderson of today; this was a slower paced, smaller "hometown" kind of community. We met a modest guy with big dreams, and we had full coverage insurance for Chiropractic. All 8 of us- at the time- were dutifully screened, xrayed, massaged and manipulated. Husband got treated just for good measure, as did most of the kids. Myself and number one son were tough cases; me with injuries from all kinds of things, and he with mild scoliosis. The insurance, of course, paid for everything. It was wonderful to come in, be escorted to a curtained area where warm cloths were applied to my back, 15 minutes later someone would come in and use a massage tool all over, then the Dr. himself would see me and do whatever adjustments he deemed necessary. I was still a young parent; this was a welcome relief twice a week. The xrays on my son quickly showed an improvement in his spine curvature, and we were reassured that it had been caught just in time. We had a glorious year and a half of family care, until our insurance changed. We could no longer afford to go, but by then, the good Dr. had built a three story clinic and business office complex, and was no longer the modest of means gentleman we had started with. I have often wondered what he must have charged people's insurance companies to build his practice and his property so quickly! But it was a good experience, overall.

There were other Chiropractors in my life. Some would dismiss what I had been previously told, or treatments I had had; a few openly poo-pooed techniques I would describe to them, or the disc problem in my back. I went to bone crackers and Drs who dabbled in kinesiology, auras, herbs, powders, mental exercises and more. I was on my own journey through these years, reading and studying alternative medicine and midwifery, having my last three children at home, being diagnosed with and learning to deal with PTSD, as well as the health difficulties some of my children had. Some things I was more inclined to stick with, but I also found myself at the mercy of Chiropractors who were convinced that their way was the only way. It was more than a little frustrating to adjust to the contradictions in care, opinion, theory and effectiveness. Some of the Drs I saw did absolutely nothing to correct or alleviate my problems. Many of them openly spoke against their colleagues who did things differently than they did. Because at this time in my life, I was moving pretty frequently, I could not "stick with" just one Dr, and I became discouraged about receiving adequate care. The changes in my life and family pressures also made it hard to take the time and money to take care of myself, so I just quit trying to make Chiropractic a part of my life. I would hurt, but the local MD was always happy to prescribe some nifty pain killer, and my insurance always covered that! Part of my frustration with Chiropractic care is that it is not usually covered, and let's face it, multiple visits gets expensive! So more often than not, I just took whatever pain killers the MD offered, and kept going.

About a year ago, I heard about a Chiropractor nearby who sounded like my kind of guy. He was highly recommended by a couple of friends, and I wasn't particularly seeing any benefits with the current Dr, so I took my youngest son to see him. This young man had sustained a supposedly minor neck injury- according the hospital- from going headfirst off his bike at about 30 mph. No helmet. For two years we had expected healing, followed counsel, seen another Chiropractor, all to no effect. He was suffering limited mobility, a lot of pain, and not being able to do daily things like help his mother in the yard! I was terrified of the cost to see a new Dr, but we went anyway. It has been the salvation of my son. Consistent, thoughtful care, clear goals and explanations, payment accommodations, and a truly caring atmosphere. No hype, no big promises. I was upfront about my need, financially, to wait for my own care until my son was coming along well and going less often. Then my husband hurt himself, and his chronic lower back problems resurfaced with a vengeance. So he began to go, and also experienced relatively quick relief, multiple ways of dealing with his health, and finding the balance in his life through consistent treatment.

I kept telling myself I would go "soon". Tried to joke about what a bad patient I would be, and how I had had so little results in the past. This Dr. seemed unfazed. A few weeks ago I had a crisis of stress and overwork, and my situation went from "later" to right now! I am not very far into my treatment plan, but I have much less pain, have given up some of my pills, and I am really pleased with my progress. Some of my nagging health questions have been answered. I have found support and understanding, suggestions given without criticism of myself or my past care.

There are aspects of Chiropractic that have changed over the years. It's not just "get down on the table and I'll crack your bones" anymore. I am sure that there are still many approaches and attitudes, and perhaps I just got lucky this time, to find a Dr. we can feel so comfortable with. It has restored my faith in the benefits of Chiropractic. It is a huge relief to see my family and myself benefit from this care, even though it's an expense I had not planned for. To us, it is worth it. Going to the Chiropractor may not be for everyone, and yes, I have heard plenty of horror stories. I believe there have been times when I and my family were taken advantage of by a caregiver. But by and large, I think the benefits of proper Chiropractic care can't be beat.

Feel free to post your own experiences, good and bad- but please don't name names or blame Chiropractic in general for any difficulties you have had or know about. Like all medicine and therapies, the experience is individual, and we should hope to learn and grow through that. Thanks for reading!

My Passions

Passion. It's the new buzzword. "Find your passion", "Live your passion". Almost like we should base our lives around only doing those things that we are really excited about. Ask any parent about how well that works!

I have quite a few personal passions. Some of them, like reading and writing, began when I was young. I actually don't remember learning to read; I remember going to the library when I was four, and found it fascinating in my Kindergarten class to read the words the teacher had posted all over the room; "North", "South", "cat", "chair"- I am pretty sure everything was identified! Somehow, when I was 10 or so, I acquired an old Underwood manual typewriter. The tall kind with the metal keys and exposed levers. My illustrious writing career began with attempts at family interviews and a newsletter. No matter that my family consisted of me, Mom and Dad, and my little sister, with frequent visits by my maternal grandmother! I was a writer, and I was published!

Another focus of mine is gardening. My Great Grandmother, Leona Hallquist, could grow things, I swear, just by looking at them! She had beautiful vines, grapes, flowers, vegetables, roses, shrubs- I never heard of anything she couldn't grow. I learned about Chayote because she had one growing up a trellis. When I was a little girl, I thought her yard was just what the Garden of Eden must have looked like! I love to garden, and although I have had my share of failures, have managed to have a garden everywhere we've lived for the past 30 years. Today I even have a greenhouse, and it is very satisfying to get out there and keep things growing 9 months out of the year. In my experimentation with Vegetarian and Vegan diets, growing food has been really important. Even now, as a "Real Foodie", I am very happy to grow my own food on my own terms and know what has gone into it. At this moment, in fact, there are flats of little seedlings in the laundry room, stretching up towards the ceiling and putting out secondary leaves.

My list of "loves" is pretty extensive. Some of them I no longer do for time or space or health reasons. Dance. Hiking. Camping. Sewing. Playing piano. I would be pretty forlorn without music and cooking. I have moved on a bit from the days of cooking three-plus meals a day for a large family, but I really enjoy new recipes, making my own flour and broths, chocolate, nut butters and milks. Food has always been a big deal in my life; frankly, it's the main way I have tried to show my family and friends how much I love them. That's not a popular belief these days; we aren't supposed to focus on food, use it as rewards or emotional attachments. While I can see the point, I am realistic; who doesn't relish a soothing, warm, cup-of-something when it is cold or has been a long day? A lovely dinner, a favorite dessert- a sign that you are loved and someone has been thinking of you! I have bribed people with food in order to get something done. My "IT Guy", will always come to help me if I have chocolate on hand. Which ought to tell you- I ALWAYS have chocolate on hand!

A passion I've only had the past few years has been essential oils. I was fortunate enough in 2009 to go to a class about doTERRA CPTG oils, and although I had used oils a little in the past, and had some in my medicine cabinet, I did not know about using them daily or the many kinds of oils and what you could do with them. It literally changed my life. I came home with three bottles- Lemon, Lavender and Peppermint. Compared the peppermint from doTERRA to the brand I had at home, and I was sold. Since then, it has been a wonderful journey to learn about the healing properties of essential oils. My body has been able to heal in significant ways, and most of all, I have been able to share and teach and bless the lives of anyone who will listen to me or let me help them! I am proud to be with a high quality, passionate company, and now that I have fewer household responsibilities, I hope to spend more time teaching and actually growing a business. Be warned! I will mention doTERRA essential oils often; they really are a big part of my life!

My biggest passion, however, has to be my relationship with God. I don't intend to preach here, or share a lot of what I believe, because to me, it's a deeply personal journey. Two of my marriages ended because of my commitment to serving God as I best understood how. I love to read and study doctrine, history and apocryphal works. I pray daily, and I often talk to the Lord in my head as I go about my tasks. I know He lives; He is part of my daily walk and talk. I hope everyone finds joy in serving Him, in whatever way you have chosen.

I do believe that our passions can rule us for good or bad. It also seems to me, as I am getting older, that there really is "a time and a season" for everything in our lives. 20 years ago, I did not have time to learn about and use essential oils. I also considered myself "healthy" and probably would not have paid attention to it like I do now. My reading habits and interests have changed. My responsibilities in life are not the same as when I was raising children. Looking back on my journey, it seems obvious to me how some things have come and gone, reappeared, repurposed and been variations on a theme! All my life, I have sought to learn and grow, understand and do. It has been a great blessing to have that drive, to enjoy and develop my passions, and find new ones as time and circumstances brought them to me. All in all, I am grateful for it, and happy to have so much to be interested and participate in! Comment, if you will, on what your particular passions are!

The "Crazy Lady"

I am pretty sure this is how my family and friends refer to me. I may be "only" 56, but it feels like I have had a long and complex life! Definitely not what I had expected, and not without trauma and multiple paradigm shifts, but I like to think that I have hung in there, learned and grown, and continue to work things through.

That said, it seems appropriate to give a little background. My parents divorced when I was two, and my mother returned to her home Southern California with two little girls in tow. She married again when I was four. I grew up as the oldest child, except for the brief visits of my step father's children, all but one of whom is older than me. We were not a close or "blended" family. Life for my parents was a struggle, but I know now from my own experiences that they tried hard to do the best they could, and give my sister and I everything possible.

I was raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; a "Mormon". In school, I sang in choirs, dabbled in photography, journalism, creative writing and service clubs. Also boys! My best friend and I were the first girls to run on the track team in our school, and I was also the first female Athletic Trainer in San Diego County high schools. I was a Teacher's Aide for the special education school in town. After graduation, I attended Snow College in Ephraim, Utah. My declared majors were Education and Music, but I was really there to find a husband who would be strong in my faith.

My upbringing had given me certain expectations. A strong leader-type husband, a "forever" family, a godly heritage for my children. There were certainly plenty of candidates at college, where at the time, 96% of the students and faculty were Mormons! I made my choice during the first semester of my second year, got married and did not graduate. In my ignorance of life, I fully expected him to be my prince charming, and for life to be smooth and happy and fulfill all my dreams.

Without boring you with details, it was a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I found out how people change when life gets tough; including me. My perspective, outlook and expectations changed markedly in just the first five years. By then, we had five children (two from his first marriage), several moves, repeated employment difficulties, and a couple of serious medical issues. Over the course of thirteen years, the medical problems continued, finances were critical most of the time, there were difficulties with children- now numbering 8- and it was definitely not what I had expected life to be! The revelations concerning the abuse of our children by my husband brought an abrupt end to the relationship, but not to the difficulties of managing life and family, and trying to bring some kind of comprehension to my mind.

I moved on. And on. Changed my religion but not my foundational beliefs, and married three more men (sequentially!) over the next 13 years. Raised children, dealt with circumstances, brought three more little ones into the world, and parented two more whose mother could not. Some of my older children did not take the changes well and left my home. My parents and siblings were offended over my religious decisions. Many of them do not speak to me or stay in contact. All the relationships I thought would be "forever" have not proven to be.

In the process, I have developed PTSD. Plus I am an "HSP"; a Highly Sensitive Person. I take things hard. I have high expectations of myself and those around me. My relationships and life experience have been difficult. There are things about my life that I am only now just understanding. I hope that's normal! It seems to me that I am finally at a point to think about caring for myself, examining and experiencing things I have not taken the time and energy for before. So I hope you will bear with me, enjoy the things I am exploring and writing about, and share with me your own journey. I promise this won't be a continual rant about my difficulties; I do have a lot of joy and am looking forward to the days and years ahead. Part of my motivation for this blog is to share all that I have learned and express my own hope and victory over myself and the circumstances I've experienced. As I like to say, "Onwards and Upwards"!