Isn't it amazing how everything seems to change with the vernal equinox? As I have touched base with friends and family across the country, even those with snow still on the ground express their joy and anticipation for spring to come. Most of us have plans for gardens, projects, even trips and looking ahead to summer. Something about the days lengthening, the weather warming (most days!), and the spectre of school ending seems to trigger all kinds of emotions!
Of course, I have my share of plans, too. Seedlings in the laundry room are growing already. We had our first yard sale this weekend, despite the 20% chance of showers. What we actually got were three brief BB size hail storms; not enough to close things down, but I was praying really hard that they would pass and the sun would come out! Thankfully, that's exactly what happened.
Had a hard time with our last "customer". His wife had sent him to look at a woodstove we have for sale. He showed up, talked me down in price, then said he had to go home for his cash. Thirty minutes later he comes back with a friend in tow, and they inspect the stove all over again. He's relying on the friends' counsel, and to me, it doesn't look good. I had told another gentleman after he had gone for his money that the stove was sold; could have had a sale right then and there. So after these guys look it over, I am told he has to think about it "for a few minutes" and will be back. About this time I am really angry- for the waits, that he hasn't followed through, and that I sent another potential customer away. Of course, he has not returned, and I am pretty sure his friend talked him out of buying the stove. Am going to put it online for sale; we need to move it.
We are planning on having a yard sale every month through the summer. There is a lot of stuff waiting to be sorted through and dealt with. Yard sales are very popular here; the same people always show in the first moments of the first day. It's like watching reunions in your front yard while they greet each other and compare notes! Some of them get picky about what you have, and what condition it's in, and especially, how much you think it is worth. I am pretty hardened to that stuff; have taken to just refusing the "pennies on the dollar" offers. Most of my items sell, so I don't worry about it too much.
Spring has sprung, and so we are rejoicing in the promise of warmer weather and all the things we have planned to do. I am getting a few chicks to add to the flock, and we've been offered some bunnies to "naturalize" out in the chicken area. They have the back quarter of the property. We were advised that the bunnies could live under our rock pile, where they will burrow and live as they would naturally. I'll provide hay and leftovers to keep them healthy. It should be interesting to see how the two species get along together; chickens are up all day and sleep at night, and the bunnies, of course, are nocturnal. I am hoping that allows them to inhabit the same space.
My year rolls along pretty much in the same pattern. I'm not really big on change. I like predictability, and I like that people can count on me to do the things I do. But somehow, in the Spring, I am open to new ideas and projects and the promise of how they will develop over the Summer. I don't feel that way in the Fall, when I have worked all summer and am still harvesting and preserving. In the Winter, I'm not inclined at all to embark on new projects; I simply want to hibernate and read until the cold subsides! This year I have already had a number of changes, and I am still settling into new roles and responsibilities, so perhaps that is why Spring has come early for me. I really am looking forward to the new path my life is taking, even amidst the normal things that I continue to do. I am grateful for my readership and hope you'll enjoy having a peek into my life! Share your own thoughts and experiences, and we'll learn and grow together.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Friday, March 14, 2014
Too Much Fun in the Sun!
It's sunny and warm in Utah; right around 60 degrees every day! Around here, anything warmer than 40 means you break out the short sleeves and capris. So, besides starting my flowers and veggies in a sunny window, I have been ambitiously tackling one of the sheds and the backyard in general.
As some of you know, my oldest daughter lost her husband last year. For the last two years of his life, he was ill and not able to do very much. C. had the full burden of his care, plus the large home they owned. So you can imagine that not a whole lot got done. My two youngest and I moved in a few months ago to help her deal with a lifetime of possessions and the need to keep the house standing. It has turned out to be a lot more than we thought, but we are making progress and really enjoying being together. Another fortunate part of this is that her home is right next door to the family business, so we all maintain our contact and involvement with each other. It was really nice to only have to move next door!
A lot has been said about change. It can be good, it can be bad; a challenge and an opportunity. I am typically a "jump in first and look later" person. I have had plenty of reasons to regret that, but there are also many times when it proved to be the right thing to do.
So here I am at my daughter's, enjoying her company, my youngest (albeit older teens) two, my cocker spaniels- Bucky (Buckskin) and Princess, my cat (Behira) comes and goes between the houses as he pleases, and my parakeets chirp away in their sunny window. My daily demands have changed, but I am still pretty busy. It has also given me the opportunity to deal with some health problems that I've been ignoring for years. I admit that my priorities are not the same as most people would think they should be; my focus has been my family and our lifestyle. I have not concerned myself very much with myself as a person!
The current challenge is this house. We need a new roof, several other major repairs, and there is enough clutter and general un-tendedness to keep anyone busy for years! This week, we took everything out of the garden/auto parts shed, sorted and threw stuff away, and there are still items I haven't identified! I think that man kept everything that ever crossed his path, and there are multiples of any tool or part that you can name.
I have signed on for a long term project. My conservative estimate is 3-5 years. I may or may not stay here to finish it; perhaps circumstances will change, my daughter remarries, or the whole place goes up in flames! (that's a joke) I am not particularly focused on the whys and hows, I just want to be here and do all I can while the opportunity is available. In the meantime, J. and H. will continue to grow up and probably move on with their lives. Maybe I'll do well enough with doTERRA that I can hire the work done. We are going to crowdfund the roof; right now, keeping the payments up is all we can do. There's a lot ahead, and I sincerely doubt I can possibly imagine what lies before us.
Today I am feeling the effects of spring sunshine and overwork. I am happy. I am choosing to do what I love and want to, surrounded by people who love me, and regardless of what is in the future, I intend to keep loving and giving and doing more than I reasonably should. I invite you to follow my wacky journey by following my posts! It should be a blast!
As some of you know, my oldest daughter lost her husband last year. For the last two years of his life, he was ill and not able to do very much. C. had the full burden of his care, plus the large home they owned. So you can imagine that not a whole lot got done. My two youngest and I moved in a few months ago to help her deal with a lifetime of possessions and the need to keep the house standing. It has turned out to be a lot more than we thought, but we are making progress and really enjoying being together. Another fortunate part of this is that her home is right next door to the family business, so we all maintain our contact and involvement with each other. It was really nice to only have to move next door!
A lot has been said about change. It can be good, it can be bad; a challenge and an opportunity. I am typically a "jump in first and look later" person. I have had plenty of reasons to regret that, but there are also many times when it proved to be the right thing to do.
So here I am at my daughter's, enjoying her company, my youngest (albeit older teens) two, my cocker spaniels- Bucky (Buckskin) and Princess, my cat (Behira) comes and goes between the houses as he pleases, and my parakeets chirp away in their sunny window. My daily demands have changed, but I am still pretty busy. It has also given me the opportunity to deal with some health problems that I've been ignoring for years. I admit that my priorities are not the same as most people would think they should be; my focus has been my family and our lifestyle. I have not concerned myself very much with myself as a person!
The current challenge is this house. We need a new roof, several other major repairs, and there is enough clutter and general un-tendedness to keep anyone busy for years! This week, we took everything out of the garden/auto parts shed, sorted and threw stuff away, and there are still items I haven't identified! I think that man kept everything that ever crossed his path, and there are multiples of any tool or part that you can name.
I have signed on for a long term project. My conservative estimate is 3-5 years. I may or may not stay here to finish it; perhaps circumstances will change, my daughter remarries, or the whole place goes up in flames! (that's a joke) I am not particularly focused on the whys and hows, I just want to be here and do all I can while the opportunity is available. In the meantime, J. and H. will continue to grow up and probably move on with their lives. Maybe I'll do well enough with doTERRA that I can hire the work done. We are going to crowdfund the roof; right now, keeping the payments up is all we can do. There's a lot ahead, and I sincerely doubt I can possibly imagine what lies before us.
Today I am feeling the effects of spring sunshine and overwork. I am happy. I am choosing to do what I love and want to, surrounded by people who love me, and regardless of what is in the future, I intend to keep loving and giving and doing more than I reasonably should. I invite you to follow my wacky journey by following my posts! It should be a blast!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Advice for New Moms
This morning I read someone else's blog giving advice to new mothers. It was an interesting insight. This mother has two children and is pregnant with a third. There is no doubt she's "been there", but her perspective and counsel from the experience baffled me a bit. I got to thinking about what I would have to say to a prospective or a new mom. So here it is:
1. His attitude (assuming there's a "him") makes just as much difference as yours. The truth is, parenting is supposed to be done by a female and a male. I acknowledge that the birther and primary caregiver is usually the mother, but if you don't have help and support, and the same expectations and philosophies, it is going to be a rough trip. This starts even before you get pregnant; preferably, before you married. I didn't think it was so important, and my first marriage was to a man who wasn't very interested in supporting me during pregnancy and birth, nor did he really concern himself with how we would raise our children. Being LDS at the time, his response was, "in the Church". Well, I can tell you, if there are problems in the home, no religious upbringing is going to save those children. It is more likely that they will grow up to see your hypocrisy and you will lose them. This applies to any area of parenting where you two obviously don't agree, one tries to cover for the other, you play "good parent/bad parent", etc. So get that settled upon, at least in general, before you make either a commitment to each other, and especially, a commitment to a child.
2. Educate yourself. Take childbirth and parenting classes, preferably together. READ. One of my biggest disappointments when I had my first child is that I did not have a "classic" birth; it was long and hard and I panicked because it was not what I expected. The Drs. interventions to speed up my labor were an unwelcome surprise. In this day of YouTube, you also should have access to a myriad of birth and parenting options, stories and examples. You can read books, watch videos, and get a really good idea of the many ways you can approach pregnancy, birth and parenting. I personally think this is a great thing to do in some degree as a couple, with discussion. Don't be frightened, or seek after the horror stories. What is terrible and over-dramatized in one person, is normal or just something to deal with in another. Parenting will have plenty of ups and downs and surprises; you don't need to be worrying about someone else's!
3. Pregnancy can be a challenge. But it is also a joy. I wish I had focused more on all my new discoveries and my anticipation rather than being uncomfortable, or trying to avoid horror stories. Feel free to tell those well meaning drama queens that you don't want to hear how much they hurt or how awful certain things are. You can't know in advance if you'll have a quick, easy, long, complicated, cesarean, early, late, induced, or-any-other-type of birth. Learn what the possibilities are, and pray that you will be safe, healthy and happy. If you have a family history that concerns you, discuss it with your Dr. or midwife. Encourage your husband to do the same. Supportive family members and friends can also be a great resource, but again, don't get caught up in all the warnings and even their expectations of what your experience will be. It will be unique to you!
4. OK. Some things do hurt. Being big and kicked at constantly. Not fitting into your clothes, car or a chair the way you expect. Rude or thoughtless comments about you, your choices, your appearance, your presumed ability- or not- to be a parent. Most of it will pass. You're emotional, he is too, and hopefully, you won't take it hard or hang onto the hurt. Labor itself is not a walk in the park, although I have met women for whom it was a 20 minute experience. For me, I experienced pressure and hating the equipment far more than what I would call "pain". That came the day after my son was born, and I was really upset that no one had warned me that your whole body hurts from the effort you've made, going to the bathroom can be difficult and different, and you really are a new person with new responsibilities! You will never feel or look at life the same after you've brought a child into the world, and feel that burden of a life dependent on you.
5. Now this blog I read today said to take your newborn around with you, because they sleep a lot and it's easier. I don't agree. Go home and rest. Cuddle together. If at all possible, sleep when the baby does, and be up when he is. If family or friends want to cook and clean and pamper you, let them. After 9 months of growth and change and the intensity of labor and parenthood, you deserve it. So does your husband! Some churches or support groups or families make it a point to send in meals. Be grateful. Even if you "prepared" with food in your freezer or cupboards, the first two weeks at least should be as much rest as you can get. I was given this counsel, decided to ignore it and "prove" that I was up and capable. Then at about six weeks, I would crash and run out of energy, just when the baby started getting more active and it really was time to be back on my feet. I also believe that it is better to acclimate the child to the home environment, let routines and "getting to know each other" happen, before hauling the baby all over. People can't help peeking and poking and wanting to hang over that little cherub. She doesn't need the exposure. Take her when you must or want to, but not purposely dragging yourselves around town, or the country.
6. I will share here my favorite "after birth" experience. During the latter end of carrying my sixth child, my husband's workplace blew up. It made national news, being blown apart by an explosion at a plant next door. All the windows in our home cracked or broke. We were safe, thank goodness, and the greatest blessing was that the plant he worked at had insurance for this kind of thing. So he continued to be paid. By the time I gave birth, the house was repaired and the workers from the plant were doing volunteer work in the community in return for their regular checks. It was July, it was hot in Nevada, and it was a big relief when I went into labor and had our son. It also happened to be days before the scheduled family reunion that my whole family was devoted to! We made arrangements with our next door neighbors to keep an eye on me and the baby, and husband and five children left me "all alone" for a whole week. It was wonderful. I slept, ate and watched TV with my baby in the recliner. Our friends brought in food and visited a little, but for the most part, I spent my time cuddling, sleeping, catching up on some reading, some TV, phone calls, and getting to know my sweet little boy. I have cherished those memories for 28 years. It was worth it. So again, if you have the chance for peace and quiet, and being pampered, take it.
7. No matter how your pregnancy or birth goes, don't be a martyr. Yes, something bad or unexpected may happen. I have several personal accounts that involve the "surprises" in my life. Yes, they have been painful, and changed my life forever. But you know what? That's called LIFE. In my experience, education is the best way to be prepared before, during and after whatever may come your way. For things you can expect, learn all you can prior to the "event'. If it's ongoing or of unknown duration, research, ask questions, and do the best you can as you go. It is very rarely someone's "fault" for what happens in your life. Mental preparation for possibilities and developing a good attitude about life in general also really helps. You might go under a bit, but soon enough you will float, then swim, then pull yourself out of the deep water. Really. It doesn't seem like it at the time, but things work out. Even when there is no cure, no healing, life doesn't go back to "normal"; even in the face of death and loss, you have it within you to make it through. I have used my faith in God. I hope you will find your own path of understanding and acceptance.
8. Babies are fun. They are also scary, unpredictable, annoying, messy, demanding, vocal but not communicative, wiggly, slippery...and then they become teenagers. There are calm children and the not-so-calm. There are things you can learn to do to help you understand and raise whatever you get. It works best, as I said, if both parents are involved and committed. The real truth is that every stage of life has it's challenges; where your child is, where you are, where others you love and care for may be. Enjoy all you can, stay educated, and let go of what you can't change. No matter whose problem it is! You will find great joy in educating and smoothing the path for your little one(s). There is plenty of advice out there, and no matter what your income or circumstances, you can raise them with joy and knowledge. Even if you do it by yourself. Learn enough so that you can be confident; compare opposing views, listen respectfully to all the advice you will be given, and then do what you know is right and best. This is your child, and your responsibility. Hopefully you intend to be responsible. If not, love that child enough to let someone who can and will care for it have that opportunity.
9. When I had my first child, I went home after three days in the hospital in my size 4 pants. I was so arrogant! By the fourth, I had to work to get back down to weight, and by the sixth, I had decided that my weight should be about 10 lbs more than previously! I don't advocate being fat and slobby, and not caring about your body, but don't go nuts over how much you weigh, or how long before you feel good enough to get back to regular exercise. Stretching and walking and building up to heavier activity is easier on your body. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, not even yourself! Some women are raring to go and jump right back into exercise, and others don't or can't. It's your body, and you have to decide what you need. I had the opportunity with one baby to put him in a Snugli; a front facing, soft baby pack. I walked with a group at the park every morning. It was great. He was the only one I managed to do that with.
10. Know yourself. And learn to know yourself again after you have the baby! Well meaning people and husbands will try to tell you what is right or wrong, what you need or don't, every angle of the spectrum between the anything goes and the "keep 'em in padding and don't let them out of the house" parents. You have to set the boundaries for your life and your activities, and what you are going to allow in the life of your child(ren). And you will change your mind. Experience, as they say, is a great teacher. It won't hurt your child if you discover that something isn't working and you change it. Well, it will if you are changing every day or on a whim, but honestly, if you are going along and the circumstances change, or the result isn't what you wanted, learn some more and make the changes you want to! Your expectations are going to change all throughout your life. Your child is going to impact you in ways you can't possibly plan for. Keep learning and growing and evaluating what you want. Find the joy, no matter how difficult things are.
This is enough for now. I can't cram all my experiences and reasons why into one post, and that's probably a good thing! I just hope you'll realize that you are on a grand adventure, and while no one can make you any promises, it will be your ride and your expectations that will shape much of what is to come. I believe parenthood can be more joy than struggle; that pregnancy and birth are a precious, albeit "short" time period where you can dream and prepare and anticipate all the good things you want for yourself, husband and child. Look ahead. Have faith in yourself. Become educated so you won't be taken so much by surprise by the things life can throw at you. Hold fast to your faith and your love. You will need them for the rest of your life. Be blessed.
1. His attitude (assuming there's a "him") makes just as much difference as yours. The truth is, parenting is supposed to be done by a female and a male. I acknowledge that the birther and primary caregiver is usually the mother, but if you don't have help and support, and the same expectations and philosophies, it is going to be a rough trip. This starts even before you get pregnant; preferably, before you married. I didn't think it was so important, and my first marriage was to a man who wasn't very interested in supporting me during pregnancy and birth, nor did he really concern himself with how we would raise our children. Being LDS at the time, his response was, "in the Church". Well, I can tell you, if there are problems in the home, no religious upbringing is going to save those children. It is more likely that they will grow up to see your hypocrisy and you will lose them. This applies to any area of parenting where you two obviously don't agree, one tries to cover for the other, you play "good parent/bad parent", etc. So get that settled upon, at least in general, before you make either a commitment to each other, and especially, a commitment to a child.
2. Educate yourself. Take childbirth and parenting classes, preferably together. READ. One of my biggest disappointments when I had my first child is that I did not have a "classic" birth; it was long and hard and I panicked because it was not what I expected. The Drs. interventions to speed up my labor were an unwelcome surprise. In this day of YouTube, you also should have access to a myriad of birth and parenting options, stories and examples. You can read books, watch videos, and get a really good idea of the many ways you can approach pregnancy, birth and parenting. I personally think this is a great thing to do in some degree as a couple, with discussion. Don't be frightened, or seek after the horror stories. What is terrible and over-dramatized in one person, is normal or just something to deal with in another. Parenting will have plenty of ups and downs and surprises; you don't need to be worrying about someone else's!
3. Pregnancy can be a challenge. But it is also a joy. I wish I had focused more on all my new discoveries and my anticipation rather than being uncomfortable, or trying to avoid horror stories. Feel free to tell those well meaning drama queens that you don't want to hear how much they hurt or how awful certain things are. You can't know in advance if you'll have a quick, easy, long, complicated, cesarean, early, late, induced, or-any-other-type of birth. Learn what the possibilities are, and pray that you will be safe, healthy and happy. If you have a family history that concerns you, discuss it with your Dr. or midwife. Encourage your husband to do the same. Supportive family members and friends can also be a great resource, but again, don't get caught up in all the warnings and even their expectations of what your experience will be. It will be unique to you!
4. OK. Some things do hurt. Being big and kicked at constantly. Not fitting into your clothes, car or a chair the way you expect. Rude or thoughtless comments about you, your choices, your appearance, your presumed ability- or not- to be a parent. Most of it will pass. You're emotional, he is too, and hopefully, you won't take it hard or hang onto the hurt. Labor itself is not a walk in the park, although I have met women for whom it was a 20 minute experience. For me, I experienced pressure and hating the equipment far more than what I would call "pain". That came the day after my son was born, and I was really upset that no one had warned me that your whole body hurts from the effort you've made, going to the bathroom can be difficult and different, and you really are a new person with new responsibilities! You will never feel or look at life the same after you've brought a child into the world, and feel that burden of a life dependent on you.
5. Now this blog I read today said to take your newborn around with you, because they sleep a lot and it's easier. I don't agree. Go home and rest. Cuddle together. If at all possible, sleep when the baby does, and be up when he is. If family or friends want to cook and clean and pamper you, let them. After 9 months of growth and change and the intensity of labor and parenthood, you deserve it. So does your husband! Some churches or support groups or families make it a point to send in meals. Be grateful. Even if you "prepared" with food in your freezer or cupboards, the first two weeks at least should be as much rest as you can get. I was given this counsel, decided to ignore it and "prove" that I was up and capable. Then at about six weeks, I would crash and run out of energy, just when the baby started getting more active and it really was time to be back on my feet. I also believe that it is better to acclimate the child to the home environment, let routines and "getting to know each other" happen, before hauling the baby all over. People can't help peeking and poking and wanting to hang over that little cherub. She doesn't need the exposure. Take her when you must or want to, but not purposely dragging yourselves around town, or the country.
6. I will share here my favorite "after birth" experience. During the latter end of carrying my sixth child, my husband's workplace blew up. It made national news, being blown apart by an explosion at a plant next door. All the windows in our home cracked or broke. We were safe, thank goodness, and the greatest blessing was that the plant he worked at had insurance for this kind of thing. So he continued to be paid. By the time I gave birth, the house was repaired and the workers from the plant were doing volunteer work in the community in return for their regular checks. It was July, it was hot in Nevada, and it was a big relief when I went into labor and had our son. It also happened to be days before the scheduled family reunion that my whole family was devoted to! We made arrangements with our next door neighbors to keep an eye on me and the baby, and husband and five children left me "all alone" for a whole week. It was wonderful. I slept, ate and watched TV with my baby in the recliner. Our friends brought in food and visited a little, but for the most part, I spent my time cuddling, sleeping, catching up on some reading, some TV, phone calls, and getting to know my sweet little boy. I have cherished those memories for 28 years. It was worth it. So again, if you have the chance for peace and quiet, and being pampered, take it.
7. No matter how your pregnancy or birth goes, don't be a martyr. Yes, something bad or unexpected may happen. I have several personal accounts that involve the "surprises" in my life. Yes, they have been painful, and changed my life forever. But you know what? That's called LIFE. In my experience, education is the best way to be prepared before, during and after whatever may come your way. For things you can expect, learn all you can prior to the "event'. If it's ongoing or of unknown duration, research, ask questions, and do the best you can as you go. It is very rarely someone's "fault" for what happens in your life. Mental preparation for possibilities and developing a good attitude about life in general also really helps. You might go under a bit, but soon enough you will float, then swim, then pull yourself out of the deep water. Really. It doesn't seem like it at the time, but things work out. Even when there is no cure, no healing, life doesn't go back to "normal"; even in the face of death and loss, you have it within you to make it through. I have used my faith in God. I hope you will find your own path of understanding and acceptance.
8. Babies are fun. They are also scary, unpredictable, annoying, messy, demanding, vocal but not communicative, wiggly, slippery...and then they become teenagers. There are calm children and the not-so-calm. There are things you can learn to do to help you understand and raise whatever you get. It works best, as I said, if both parents are involved and committed. The real truth is that every stage of life has it's challenges; where your child is, where you are, where others you love and care for may be. Enjoy all you can, stay educated, and let go of what you can't change. No matter whose problem it is! You will find great joy in educating and smoothing the path for your little one(s). There is plenty of advice out there, and no matter what your income or circumstances, you can raise them with joy and knowledge. Even if you do it by yourself. Learn enough so that you can be confident; compare opposing views, listen respectfully to all the advice you will be given, and then do what you know is right and best. This is your child, and your responsibility. Hopefully you intend to be responsible. If not, love that child enough to let someone who can and will care for it have that opportunity.
9. When I had my first child, I went home after three days in the hospital in my size 4 pants. I was so arrogant! By the fourth, I had to work to get back down to weight, and by the sixth, I had decided that my weight should be about 10 lbs more than previously! I don't advocate being fat and slobby, and not caring about your body, but don't go nuts over how much you weigh, or how long before you feel good enough to get back to regular exercise. Stretching and walking and building up to heavier activity is easier on your body. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, not even yourself! Some women are raring to go and jump right back into exercise, and others don't or can't. It's your body, and you have to decide what you need. I had the opportunity with one baby to put him in a Snugli; a front facing, soft baby pack. I walked with a group at the park every morning. It was great. He was the only one I managed to do that with.
10. Know yourself. And learn to know yourself again after you have the baby! Well meaning people and husbands will try to tell you what is right or wrong, what you need or don't, every angle of the spectrum between the anything goes and the "keep 'em in padding and don't let them out of the house" parents. You have to set the boundaries for your life and your activities, and what you are going to allow in the life of your child(ren). And you will change your mind. Experience, as they say, is a great teacher. It won't hurt your child if you discover that something isn't working and you change it. Well, it will if you are changing every day or on a whim, but honestly, if you are going along and the circumstances change, or the result isn't what you wanted, learn some more and make the changes you want to! Your expectations are going to change all throughout your life. Your child is going to impact you in ways you can't possibly plan for. Keep learning and growing and evaluating what you want. Find the joy, no matter how difficult things are.
This is enough for now. I can't cram all my experiences and reasons why into one post, and that's probably a good thing! I just hope you'll realize that you are on a grand adventure, and while no one can make you any promises, it will be your ride and your expectations that will shape much of what is to come. I believe parenthood can be more joy than struggle; that pregnancy and birth are a precious, albeit "short" time period where you can dream and prepare and anticipate all the good things you want for yourself, husband and child. Look ahead. Have faith in yourself. Become educated so you won't be taken so much by surprise by the things life can throw at you. Hold fast to your faith and your love. You will need them for the rest of your life. Be blessed.
Monday, March 10, 2014
There's Chiropractic, and there's Chiropractic
Now legally, I can't tell you what a Chiropractor can do, or should do, for you and yours. I can say, however, that I have had numerous men of this persuasion in my life, some for good and some not-so-good. Today I thought I'd relate some of those experiences, and give you my personal conclusions. I'm also not recommending any particular Dr. or therapy; just what has helped me.
When I was 12, my mother took me to a gentleman down town. I honestly don't remember much about it. This was my mother's "Adelle Davis" phase, and we were busy trying all kinds of new things. I had a few visits, there was some discussion and warning about a disc between my shoulder blades, and that was the end of it. Fast forward to college, and I think I also saw a Chiropractor after I rolled my car. That would have been brief, as well.
In the 80's, we were living in Henderson, NV, right outside of Las Vegas. Not the Henderson of today; this was a slower paced, smaller "hometown" kind of community. We met a modest guy with big dreams, and we had full coverage insurance for Chiropractic. All 8 of us- at the time- were dutifully screened, xrayed, massaged and manipulated. Husband got treated just for good measure, as did most of the kids. Myself and number one son were tough cases; me with injuries from all kinds of things, and he with mild scoliosis. The insurance, of course, paid for everything. It was wonderful to come in, be escorted to a curtained area where warm cloths were applied to my back, 15 minutes later someone would come in and use a massage tool all over, then the Dr. himself would see me and do whatever adjustments he deemed necessary. I was still a young parent; this was a welcome relief twice a week. The xrays on my son quickly showed an improvement in his spine curvature, and we were reassured that it had been caught just in time. We had a glorious year and a half of family care, until our insurance changed. We could no longer afford to go, but by then, the good Dr. had built a three story clinic and business office complex, and was no longer the modest of means gentleman we had started with. I have often wondered what he must have charged people's insurance companies to build his practice and his property so quickly! But it was a good experience, overall.
There were other Chiropractors in my life. Some would dismiss what I had been previously told, or treatments I had had; a few openly poo-pooed techniques I would describe to them, or the disc problem in my back. I went to bone crackers and Drs who dabbled in kinesiology, auras, herbs, powders, mental exercises and more. I was on my own journey through these years, reading and studying alternative medicine and midwifery, having my last three children at home, being diagnosed with and learning to deal with PTSD, as well as the health difficulties some of my children had. Some things I was more inclined to stick with, but I also found myself at the mercy of Chiropractors who were convinced that their way was the only way. It was more than a little frustrating to adjust to the contradictions in care, opinion, theory and effectiveness. Some of the Drs I saw did absolutely nothing to correct or alleviate my problems. Many of them openly spoke against their colleagues who did things differently than they did. Because at this time in my life, I was moving pretty frequently, I could not "stick with" just one Dr, and I became discouraged about receiving adequate care. The changes in my life and family pressures also made it hard to take the time and money to take care of myself, so I just quit trying to make Chiropractic a part of my life. I would hurt, but the local MD was always happy to prescribe some nifty pain killer, and my insurance always covered that! Part of my frustration with Chiropractic care is that it is not usually covered, and let's face it, multiple visits gets expensive! So more often than not, I just took whatever pain killers the MD offered, and kept going.
About a year ago, I heard about a Chiropractor nearby who sounded like my kind of guy. He was highly recommended by a couple of friends, and I wasn't particularly seeing any benefits with the current Dr, so I took my youngest son to see him. This young man had sustained a supposedly minor neck injury- according the hospital- from going headfirst off his bike at about 30 mph. No helmet. For two years we had expected healing, followed counsel, seen another Chiropractor, all to no effect. He was suffering limited mobility, a lot of pain, and not being able to do daily things like help his mother in the yard! I was terrified of the cost to see a new Dr, but we went anyway. It has been the salvation of my son. Consistent, thoughtful care, clear goals and explanations, payment accommodations, and a truly caring atmosphere. No hype, no big promises. I was upfront about my need, financially, to wait for my own care until my son was coming along well and going less often. Then my husband hurt himself, and his chronic lower back problems resurfaced with a vengeance. So he began to go, and also experienced relatively quick relief, multiple ways of dealing with his health, and finding the balance in his life through consistent treatment.
I kept telling myself I would go "soon". Tried to joke about what a bad patient I would be, and how I had had so little results in the past. This Dr. seemed unfazed. A few weeks ago I had a crisis of stress and overwork, and my situation went from "later" to right now! I am not very far into my treatment plan, but I have much less pain, have given up some of my pills, and I am really pleased with my progress. Some of my nagging health questions have been answered. I have found support and understanding, suggestions given without criticism of myself or my past care.
There are aspects of Chiropractic that have changed over the years. It's not just "get down on the table and I'll crack your bones" anymore. I am sure that there are still many approaches and attitudes, and perhaps I just got lucky this time, to find a Dr. we can feel so comfortable with. It has restored my faith in the benefits of Chiropractic. It is a huge relief to see my family and myself benefit from this care, even though it's an expense I had not planned for. To us, it is worth it. Going to the Chiropractor may not be for everyone, and yes, I have heard plenty of horror stories. I believe there have been times when I and my family were taken advantage of by a caregiver. But by and large, I think the benefits of proper Chiropractic care can't be beat.
Feel free to post your own experiences, good and bad- but please don't name names or blame Chiropractic in general for any difficulties you have had or know about. Like all medicine and therapies, the experience is individual, and we should hope to learn and grow through that. Thanks for reading!
When I was 12, my mother took me to a gentleman down town. I honestly don't remember much about it. This was my mother's "Adelle Davis" phase, and we were busy trying all kinds of new things. I had a few visits, there was some discussion and warning about a disc between my shoulder blades, and that was the end of it. Fast forward to college, and I think I also saw a Chiropractor after I rolled my car. That would have been brief, as well.
In the 80's, we were living in Henderson, NV, right outside of Las Vegas. Not the Henderson of today; this was a slower paced, smaller "hometown" kind of community. We met a modest guy with big dreams, and we had full coverage insurance for Chiropractic. All 8 of us- at the time- were dutifully screened, xrayed, massaged and manipulated. Husband got treated just for good measure, as did most of the kids. Myself and number one son were tough cases; me with injuries from all kinds of things, and he with mild scoliosis. The insurance, of course, paid for everything. It was wonderful to come in, be escorted to a curtained area where warm cloths were applied to my back, 15 minutes later someone would come in and use a massage tool all over, then the Dr. himself would see me and do whatever adjustments he deemed necessary. I was still a young parent; this was a welcome relief twice a week. The xrays on my son quickly showed an improvement in his spine curvature, and we were reassured that it had been caught just in time. We had a glorious year and a half of family care, until our insurance changed. We could no longer afford to go, but by then, the good Dr. had built a three story clinic and business office complex, and was no longer the modest of means gentleman we had started with. I have often wondered what he must have charged people's insurance companies to build his practice and his property so quickly! But it was a good experience, overall.
There were other Chiropractors in my life. Some would dismiss what I had been previously told, or treatments I had had; a few openly poo-pooed techniques I would describe to them, or the disc problem in my back. I went to bone crackers and Drs who dabbled in kinesiology, auras, herbs, powders, mental exercises and more. I was on my own journey through these years, reading and studying alternative medicine and midwifery, having my last three children at home, being diagnosed with and learning to deal with PTSD, as well as the health difficulties some of my children had. Some things I was more inclined to stick with, but I also found myself at the mercy of Chiropractors who were convinced that their way was the only way. It was more than a little frustrating to adjust to the contradictions in care, opinion, theory and effectiveness. Some of the Drs I saw did absolutely nothing to correct or alleviate my problems. Many of them openly spoke against their colleagues who did things differently than they did. Because at this time in my life, I was moving pretty frequently, I could not "stick with" just one Dr, and I became discouraged about receiving adequate care. The changes in my life and family pressures also made it hard to take the time and money to take care of myself, so I just quit trying to make Chiropractic a part of my life. I would hurt, but the local MD was always happy to prescribe some nifty pain killer, and my insurance always covered that! Part of my frustration with Chiropractic care is that it is not usually covered, and let's face it, multiple visits gets expensive! So more often than not, I just took whatever pain killers the MD offered, and kept going.
About a year ago, I heard about a Chiropractor nearby who sounded like my kind of guy. He was highly recommended by a couple of friends, and I wasn't particularly seeing any benefits with the current Dr, so I took my youngest son to see him. This young man had sustained a supposedly minor neck injury- according the hospital- from going headfirst off his bike at about 30 mph. No helmet. For two years we had expected healing, followed counsel, seen another Chiropractor, all to no effect. He was suffering limited mobility, a lot of pain, and not being able to do daily things like help his mother in the yard! I was terrified of the cost to see a new Dr, but we went anyway. It has been the salvation of my son. Consistent, thoughtful care, clear goals and explanations, payment accommodations, and a truly caring atmosphere. No hype, no big promises. I was upfront about my need, financially, to wait for my own care until my son was coming along well and going less often. Then my husband hurt himself, and his chronic lower back problems resurfaced with a vengeance. So he began to go, and also experienced relatively quick relief, multiple ways of dealing with his health, and finding the balance in his life through consistent treatment.
I kept telling myself I would go "soon". Tried to joke about what a bad patient I would be, and how I had had so little results in the past. This Dr. seemed unfazed. A few weeks ago I had a crisis of stress and overwork, and my situation went from "later" to right now! I am not very far into my treatment plan, but I have much less pain, have given up some of my pills, and I am really pleased with my progress. Some of my nagging health questions have been answered. I have found support and understanding, suggestions given without criticism of myself or my past care.
There are aspects of Chiropractic that have changed over the years. It's not just "get down on the table and I'll crack your bones" anymore. I am sure that there are still many approaches and attitudes, and perhaps I just got lucky this time, to find a Dr. we can feel so comfortable with. It has restored my faith in the benefits of Chiropractic. It is a huge relief to see my family and myself benefit from this care, even though it's an expense I had not planned for. To us, it is worth it. Going to the Chiropractor may not be for everyone, and yes, I have heard plenty of horror stories. I believe there have been times when I and my family were taken advantage of by a caregiver. But by and large, I think the benefits of proper Chiropractic care can't be beat.
Feel free to post your own experiences, good and bad- but please don't name names or blame Chiropractic in general for any difficulties you have had or know about. Like all medicine and therapies, the experience is individual, and we should hope to learn and grow through that. Thanks for reading!
Saturday, March 8, 2014
My Passions
Passion. It's the new buzzword. "Find your passion", "Live your passion". Almost like we should base our lives around only doing those things that we are really excited about. Ask any parent about how well that works!
I have quite a few personal passions. Some of them, like reading and writing, began when I was young. I actually don't remember learning to read; I remember going to the library when I was four, and found it fascinating in my Kindergarten class to read the words the teacher had posted all over the room; "North", "South", "cat", "chair"- I am pretty sure everything was identified! Somehow, when I was 10 or so, I acquired an old Underwood manual typewriter. The tall kind with the metal keys and exposed levers. My illustrious writing career began with attempts at family interviews and a newsletter. No matter that my family consisted of me, Mom and Dad, and my little sister, with frequent visits by my maternal grandmother! I was a writer, and I was published!
Another focus of mine is gardening. My Great Grandmother, Leona Hallquist, could grow things, I swear, just by looking at them! She had beautiful vines, grapes, flowers, vegetables, roses, shrubs- I never heard of anything she couldn't grow. I learned about Chayote because she had one growing up a trellis. When I was a little girl, I thought her yard was just what the Garden of Eden must have looked like! I love to garden, and although I have had my share of failures, have managed to have a garden everywhere we've lived for the past 30 years. Today I even have a greenhouse, and it is very satisfying to get out there and keep things growing 9 months out of the year. In my experimentation with Vegetarian and Vegan diets, growing food has been really important. Even now, as a "Real Foodie", I am very happy to grow my own food on my own terms and know what has gone into it. At this moment, in fact, there are flats of little seedlings in the laundry room, stretching up towards the ceiling and putting out secondary leaves.
My list of "loves" is pretty extensive. Some of them I no longer do for time or space or health reasons. Dance. Hiking. Camping. Sewing. Playing piano. I would be pretty forlorn without music and cooking. I have moved on a bit from the days of cooking three-plus meals a day for a large family, but I really enjoy new recipes, making my own flour and broths, chocolate, nut butters and milks. Food has always been a big deal in my life; frankly, it's the main way I have tried to show my family and friends how much I love them. That's not a popular belief these days; we aren't supposed to focus on food, use it as rewards or emotional attachments. While I can see the point, I am realistic; who doesn't relish a soothing, warm, cup-of-something when it is cold or has been a long day? A lovely dinner, a favorite dessert- a sign that you are loved and someone has been thinking of you! I have bribed people with food in order to get something done. My "IT Guy", will always come to help me if I have chocolate on hand. Which ought to tell you- I ALWAYS have chocolate on hand!
A passion I've only had the past few years has been essential oils. I was fortunate enough in 2009 to go to a class about doTERRA CPTG oils, and although I had used oils a little in the past, and had some in my medicine cabinet, I did not know about using them daily or the many kinds of oils and what you could do with them. It literally changed my life. I came home with three bottles- Lemon, Lavender and Peppermint. Compared the peppermint from doTERRA to the brand I had at home, and I was sold. Since then, it has been a wonderful journey to learn about the healing properties of essential oils. My body has been able to heal in significant ways, and most of all, I have been able to share and teach and bless the lives of anyone who will listen to me or let me help them! I am proud to be with a high quality, passionate company, and now that I have fewer household responsibilities, I hope to spend more time teaching and actually growing a business. Be warned! I will mention doTERRA essential oils often; they really are a big part of my life!
My biggest passion, however, has to be my relationship with God. I don't intend to preach here, or share a lot of what I believe, because to me, it's a deeply personal journey. Two of my marriages ended because of my commitment to serving God as I best understood how. I love to read and study doctrine, history and apocryphal works. I pray daily, and I often talk to the Lord in my head as I go about my tasks. I know He lives; He is part of my daily walk and talk. I hope everyone finds joy in serving Him, in whatever way you have chosen.
I do believe that our passions can rule us for good or bad. It also seems to me, as I am getting older, that there really is "a time and a season" for everything in our lives. 20 years ago, I did not have time to learn about and use essential oils. I also considered myself "healthy" and probably would not have paid attention to it like I do now. My reading habits and interests have changed. My responsibilities in life are not the same as when I was raising children. Looking back on my journey, it seems obvious to me how some things have come and gone, reappeared, repurposed and been variations on a theme! All my life, I have sought to learn and grow, understand and do. It has been a great blessing to have that drive, to enjoy and develop my passions, and find new ones as time and circumstances brought them to me. All in all, I am grateful for it, and happy to have so much to be interested and participate in! Comment, if you will, on what your particular passions are!
I have quite a few personal passions. Some of them, like reading and writing, began when I was young. I actually don't remember learning to read; I remember going to the library when I was four, and found it fascinating in my Kindergarten class to read the words the teacher had posted all over the room; "North", "South", "cat", "chair"- I am pretty sure everything was identified! Somehow, when I was 10 or so, I acquired an old Underwood manual typewriter. The tall kind with the metal keys and exposed levers. My illustrious writing career began with attempts at family interviews and a newsletter. No matter that my family consisted of me, Mom and Dad, and my little sister, with frequent visits by my maternal grandmother! I was a writer, and I was published!
Another focus of mine is gardening. My Great Grandmother, Leona Hallquist, could grow things, I swear, just by looking at them! She had beautiful vines, grapes, flowers, vegetables, roses, shrubs- I never heard of anything she couldn't grow. I learned about Chayote because she had one growing up a trellis. When I was a little girl, I thought her yard was just what the Garden of Eden must have looked like! I love to garden, and although I have had my share of failures, have managed to have a garden everywhere we've lived for the past 30 years. Today I even have a greenhouse, and it is very satisfying to get out there and keep things growing 9 months out of the year. In my experimentation with Vegetarian and Vegan diets, growing food has been really important. Even now, as a "Real Foodie", I am very happy to grow my own food on my own terms and know what has gone into it. At this moment, in fact, there are flats of little seedlings in the laundry room, stretching up towards the ceiling and putting out secondary leaves.
My list of "loves" is pretty extensive. Some of them I no longer do for time or space or health reasons. Dance. Hiking. Camping. Sewing. Playing piano. I would be pretty forlorn without music and cooking. I have moved on a bit from the days of cooking three-plus meals a day for a large family, but I really enjoy new recipes, making my own flour and broths, chocolate, nut butters and milks. Food has always been a big deal in my life; frankly, it's the main way I have tried to show my family and friends how much I love them. That's not a popular belief these days; we aren't supposed to focus on food, use it as rewards or emotional attachments. While I can see the point, I am realistic; who doesn't relish a soothing, warm, cup-of-something when it is cold or has been a long day? A lovely dinner, a favorite dessert- a sign that you are loved and someone has been thinking of you! I have bribed people with food in order to get something done. My "IT Guy", will always come to help me if I have chocolate on hand. Which ought to tell you- I ALWAYS have chocolate on hand!
A passion I've only had the past few years has been essential oils. I was fortunate enough in 2009 to go to a class about doTERRA CPTG oils, and although I had used oils a little in the past, and had some in my medicine cabinet, I did not know about using them daily or the many kinds of oils and what you could do with them. It literally changed my life. I came home with three bottles- Lemon, Lavender and Peppermint. Compared the peppermint from doTERRA to the brand I had at home, and I was sold. Since then, it has been a wonderful journey to learn about the healing properties of essential oils. My body has been able to heal in significant ways, and most of all, I have been able to share and teach and bless the lives of anyone who will listen to me or let me help them! I am proud to be with a high quality, passionate company, and now that I have fewer household responsibilities, I hope to spend more time teaching and actually growing a business. Be warned! I will mention doTERRA essential oils often; they really are a big part of my life!
My biggest passion, however, has to be my relationship with God. I don't intend to preach here, or share a lot of what I believe, because to me, it's a deeply personal journey. Two of my marriages ended because of my commitment to serving God as I best understood how. I love to read and study doctrine, history and apocryphal works. I pray daily, and I often talk to the Lord in my head as I go about my tasks. I know He lives; He is part of my daily walk and talk. I hope everyone finds joy in serving Him, in whatever way you have chosen.
I do believe that our passions can rule us for good or bad. It also seems to me, as I am getting older, that there really is "a time and a season" for everything in our lives. 20 years ago, I did not have time to learn about and use essential oils. I also considered myself "healthy" and probably would not have paid attention to it like I do now. My reading habits and interests have changed. My responsibilities in life are not the same as when I was raising children. Looking back on my journey, it seems obvious to me how some things have come and gone, reappeared, repurposed and been variations on a theme! All my life, I have sought to learn and grow, understand and do. It has been a great blessing to have that drive, to enjoy and develop my passions, and find new ones as time and circumstances brought them to me. All in all, I am grateful for it, and happy to have so much to be interested and participate in! Comment, if you will, on what your particular passions are!
Friday, March 7, 2014
The "Crazy Lady"
I am pretty sure this is how my family and friends refer to me. I may be "only" 56, but it feels like I have had a long and complex life! Definitely not what I had expected, and not without trauma and multiple paradigm shifts, but I like to think that I have hung in there, learned and grown, and continue to work things through.
That said, it seems appropriate to give a little background. My parents divorced when I was two, and my mother returned to her home Southern California with two little girls in tow. She married again when I was four. I grew up as the oldest child, except for the brief visits of my step father's children, all but one of whom is older than me. We were not a close or "blended" family. Life for my parents was a struggle, but I know now from my own experiences that they tried hard to do the best they could, and give my sister and I everything possible.
I was raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; a "Mormon". In school, I sang in choirs, dabbled in photography, journalism, creative writing and service clubs. Also boys! My best friend and I were the first girls to run on the track team in our school, and I was also the first female Athletic Trainer in San Diego County high schools. I was a Teacher's Aide for the special education school in town. After graduation, I attended Snow College in Ephraim, Utah. My declared majors were Education and Music, but I was really there to find a husband who would be strong in my faith.
My upbringing had given me certain expectations. A strong leader-type husband, a "forever" family, a godly heritage for my children. There were certainly plenty of candidates at college, where at the time, 96% of the students and faculty were Mormons! I made my choice during the first semester of my second year, got married and did not graduate. In my ignorance of life, I fully expected him to be my prince charming, and for life to be smooth and happy and fulfill all my dreams.
Without boring you with details, it was a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I found out how people change when life gets tough; including me. My perspective, outlook and expectations changed markedly in just the first five years. By then, we had five children (two from his first marriage), several moves, repeated employment difficulties, and a couple of serious medical issues. Over the course of thirteen years, the medical problems continued, finances were critical most of the time, there were difficulties with children- now numbering 8- and it was definitely not what I had expected life to be! The revelations concerning the abuse of our children by my husband brought an abrupt end to the relationship, but not to the difficulties of managing life and family, and trying to bring some kind of comprehension to my mind.
I moved on. And on. Changed my religion but not my foundational beliefs, and married three more men (sequentially!) over the next 13 years. Raised children, dealt with circumstances, brought three more little ones into the world, and parented two more whose mother could not. Some of my older children did not take the changes well and left my home. My parents and siblings were offended over my religious decisions. Many of them do not speak to me or stay in contact. All the relationships I thought would be "forever" have not proven to be.
In the process, I have developed PTSD. Plus I am an "HSP"; a Highly Sensitive Person. I take things hard. I have high expectations of myself and those around me. My relationships and life experience have been difficult. There are things about my life that I am only now just understanding. I hope that's normal! It seems to me that I am finally at a point to think about caring for myself, examining and experiencing things I have not taken the time and energy for before. So I hope you will bear with me, enjoy the things I am exploring and writing about, and share with me your own journey. I promise this won't be a continual rant about my difficulties; I do have a lot of joy and am looking forward to the days and years ahead. Part of my motivation for this blog is to share all that I have learned and express my own hope and victory over myself and the circumstances I've experienced. As I like to say, "Onwards and Upwards"!
That said, it seems appropriate to give a little background. My parents divorced when I was two, and my mother returned to her home Southern California with two little girls in tow. She married again when I was four. I grew up as the oldest child, except for the brief visits of my step father's children, all but one of whom is older than me. We were not a close or "blended" family. Life for my parents was a struggle, but I know now from my own experiences that they tried hard to do the best they could, and give my sister and I everything possible.
I was raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; a "Mormon". In school, I sang in choirs, dabbled in photography, journalism, creative writing and service clubs. Also boys! My best friend and I were the first girls to run on the track team in our school, and I was also the first female Athletic Trainer in San Diego County high schools. I was a Teacher's Aide for the special education school in town. After graduation, I attended Snow College in Ephraim, Utah. My declared majors were Education and Music, but I was really there to find a husband who would be strong in my faith.
My upbringing had given me certain expectations. A strong leader-type husband, a "forever" family, a godly heritage for my children. There were certainly plenty of candidates at college, where at the time, 96% of the students and faculty were Mormons! I made my choice during the first semester of my second year, got married and did not graduate. In my ignorance of life, I fully expected him to be my prince charming, and for life to be smooth and happy and fulfill all my dreams.
Without boring you with details, it was a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I found out how people change when life gets tough; including me. My perspective, outlook and expectations changed markedly in just the first five years. By then, we had five children (two from his first marriage), several moves, repeated employment difficulties, and a couple of serious medical issues. Over the course of thirteen years, the medical problems continued, finances were critical most of the time, there were difficulties with children- now numbering 8- and it was definitely not what I had expected life to be! The revelations concerning the abuse of our children by my husband brought an abrupt end to the relationship, but not to the difficulties of managing life and family, and trying to bring some kind of comprehension to my mind.
I moved on. And on. Changed my religion but not my foundational beliefs, and married three more men (sequentially!) over the next 13 years. Raised children, dealt with circumstances, brought three more little ones into the world, and parented two more whose mother could not. Some of my older children did not take the changes well and left my home. My parents and siblings were offended over my religious decisions. Many of them do not speak to me or stay in contact. All the relationships I thought would be "forever" have not proven to be.
In the process, I have developed PTSD. Plus I am an "HSP"; a Highly Sensitive Person. I take things hard. I have high expectations of myself and those around me. My relationships and life experience have been difficult. There are things about my life that I am only now just understanding. I hope that's normal! It seems to me that I am finally at a point to think about caring for myself, examining and experiencing things I have not taken the time and energy for before. So I hope you will bear with me, enjoy the things I am exploring and writing about, and share with me your own journey. I promise this won't be a continual rant about my difficulties; I do have a lot of joy and am looking forward to the days and years ahead. Part of my motivation for this blog is to share all that I have learned and express my own hope and victory over myself and the circumstances I've experienced. As I like to say, "Onwards and Upwards"!
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