Last Post for 2014!

Now that's original, isn't it? EVERYONE is posting "last posts"; I just had to get on the bandwagon! Please also forgive me if I wax sentimental- it is that time of year!

There weren't any huge events or breakthroughs in my personal life this year. I have been living with my daughter for a whole year now. Amazingly, we get along quite well, and I only pull the mommy voice out once in awhile. We've had our share of struggles this year with finding and keeping employment, and the day to day can be pretty stressful that way. But we keep going. We have some good support from family and friends, and our faith keeps us strong and moving forward.

Personal growth and healing has been the focus of much of my year. I am the classic cautionary tale of burning the candle at both ends, trying to be super-mom, and thinking that my body could handle anything I put it through. Well, it "handled" it alright; I have some chronic health problems, adrenal stress, weight gain, arthritis and fibromyalgia to deal with. I have finally managed to learn how to sleep in. Even though I still get up in the night, I am able to sleep quite well from 11 pm to 7 or 7:30 am. That is a major accomplishment! I really enjoy feeling the benefits of sleep, and I'm quite protective now of my sleep time, as well as my meditation/nap time in the afternoon. Applying principles of the Law of Attraction is also a welcome part of my day. I spent so many years running- literally- through the daylight hours and neglecting my need for spiritual connection and a respite from the demands of my life! Lately I've been on a mission to let my children all know that they need to take time for themselves and nourish their bodies and spirits. A good many things occcurred in my parenting years that I am not proud of, and I think if I had just slowed down and had a more introspective outlook, some of the difficulties in our lives might have been avoided.

So for 2015, it's Onward and Upward! I intend to continue to improve my health, work in my doTERRA business, keep everything going here at home and reach out with love to those around me. This past year, I learned how to be grateful; not a small thing to become aware of! I had an amazing experience a week ago where I was filled to the brim with an understanding of all I had to be grateful for, and it was very holy and special to me to be able to spend the better part of three days feeling that level of gratitude and love. The truth is, they go hand in hand. Ungrateful people- and I have been one from time to time- cannot express and show love in ways others can receive it. Those who genuinely love others are able to do so because they understand and live in gratitude for who people are and in their desires to love and serve. These are concepts I hope my children have figured out, even though I wasn't a very good example of them all the time. I am extremely grateful that I have grown in these, even if it is after my children are grown. I am grateful for the opportunity to reach out, to acknowledge what I have realized, and to change the example I have set.

This has been a wintery week. We have snow on the ground, and it is the coldest we've had since last winter. We took down the Christmas tree and decorations, but left up the lights, because that is such a comfort to me. I struggle with the darkness and the cold, and at this point, I'm reminding myself that April is just four months away! I can't count on March around here; we often get our worst snow storms that month!

I suppose it is unfair to say that nothing of note has happened this year. As I write and think, many things come back to my memory. What looks small to one is huge to another, I guess. I do want to mention our miracle; one of our creditors totally absolved our debt to him! It wasn't large in common terms, but for us it was a huge amount, and it was very unexpected to get his call and tell us our balance was $0. It took several minutes for the reality to really sink in, and I found myself without the words to thank him effectively. God will bless that man for his generosity and kindness. If I ever get the chance to bless him, I will gladly do so!

We celebrated our traditional "12 Days" the best we could this year. Service to others is something my children are known for, and I have always wanted them to have generous hearts, no matter how much or how little they had. We had a good time sharing and surprising, making and including our friends and neighbors in our Christmas this year. Our Christmas Eve giving to each other was sweet, and we all enjoyed a very relaxing Christmas Day. I read 5 Richard Paul Evans books! Granted, he's an easy read and the stories are not complex, but it was fun just to read and snack and enjoy the day here at home without fuss and expectations. I do miss having little ones around, but for this year, it was a perfect day.

I hope as everyone readies for the New Year, that your memories are sweet and precious, and that you also are able to plan and prepre for the days to come. Sometimes it seems like the world is changing fast, and other times, it seems to slow to a crawl. Whatever season of life you find yourself in, I hope you have joy. I wish everyone a blessed and prosperous 2015, and thank you for reading and letting me share my life with you!

Happy Birthday, Samuel

Today my son Samuel is 28. He calls himself the middle child, being my third son out of five of my own children when he was born, but we had four girls and three boys then, with four more children to come after him. He was wanted, and loved, and his older sisters all doted on him!

We were expecting him to arrive in the middle of December, which I thought would work out great, giving me plenty of time to do Christmas things while recovering. Instead, he waited. A neighbor had a son with a Christmas Day birthday, and they celebrated in July on the half birthday. I really wanted to avoid such confusion, and besides, we already had a lot of summer birthdays! I was really grateful when I went into labor about midnight on the 22nd. Sure enough, Sam made his entrance- he always makes an entrance- about 9 am.

In my days of having hospital births but wanting to explore and try new things, I had read up on various techniques that could be used in a hospital but that would take some of the institutionalism out. My OB/GYN was so patient as I brought my ideas in each month! No, the hospitals here didn't use birthing chairs, but he had had experience with them in the East and didn't think they made much difference. (When I finally had one, for Hannah, it DID make a difference for me!) He was also familiar with the LeBoyer method, and agreed to make arrangements with the hospital for me to have it, barring complications in the birth. Near the end of my pregnancy, the new partner in the office became my primary Dr, and he was ok with it, too.

It's not well known, but LeBoyer was a French physician who believed that a child should be born into a relatively dark, warm and wet environment that would mimic the womb, and so help the child to transition to the new world. No bright lights, a relatively quick immersion into a basin of warm water, which continued for several minutes as the child would adjust. Sam's birth was fairly quick and uneventful; the lights were low, he was slid into the basin and it was fascinating to watch him open his eyes, look around and stretch. Then he was placed- wet- on my chest, covered but not wrapped in a blanket. He had not cried, was not "stimulated" or even handled very much by the Dr. and nurses. Samuel picked up his head, looked me straight in the face with his big, blue marble eyes, and stared at me for several seconds. Then he nursed briefly, was taken away for a more thorough clean up and exam, and so was I. The hospital, though small, let the babies stay with mothers as much as we wanted them, so we had a lot of contact throughout the rest of the day and night.(I could never get another hospital or midwife to agree to this, but it was great for Sam!)

In the morning, in true super-mom mode- it was Christmas Eve, after all- I was dressed and standing in the doorway of my room at 9 am, waiting for the Pediatrician, who knew me well, to approve Sam for release. The previous evening, the obstetrician had said that I could go home Christmas morning if I was feeling well, and I had informed him of my intention to go home the next morning, to which he replied, "we shall see". In his defense, he did not know me very well yet. So as he came down the hall, and saw me standing in the doorway fully dressed, he said, "alright, I guess you are going home". My pediatrician got quite a laugh out of that!

So we came home to a very excited household, and later that evening I wrapped Samuel up and hauled him through Kmart as I finished the Christmas shopping. This had been necessary because we hadn't gotten paid until that very day, and I had a layaway to pick up! Remember, this was in the days of my young motherhood, when I sincerely believed that I was invincible! He was born on a Wednesday, Christmas was Friday, and on Sunday, we attended three hours of Church- 50 minutes of which I taught a Sunday School lesson. In the emotion of the season, people said I looked just like Mary with the Savior, and of course, I was flattered.

At six weeks old, Sam became suddenly ill. I was terrified. The older kids had just gotten over a November/early December case of the chicken pox, and I thought his fever portended his own case. However, there were no spots, and the fever went quite high. I was alone with kids at home, made a couple of phone calls and got us a ride to the hospital. No one from my church was available to give him a blessing, so I did it myself, begging God to forgive my presumptuousness and bless my son. I held him as he had a spinal tap, and sure enough, he had meningitis. Fortunately, we caught it very early. He was transferred to a bigger hospital,  but was only in for three days and then sent home. I felt VERY blessed! No complications, and he has not been particularly susceptible to infection since.

The fact is, he was hardly ever ill! Didn't even break a bone until he was a teenager. Samuel loves music and dance, is quite accomplished in both, and has always loved to help out and serve others. He was also known around town for walking, no matter the weather or season! He's still very active today, and I always enjoy hearing what shows he's been to and cultural opportunities he's having. I don't see him nearly often enough, and I value his friendship and efforts to stay connected even through our family "rough patches". He is still wanted and loved, and it has been a great blessing in my life to know him. I am really proud of the man he has become.

HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON!

End of the Year ALREADY?

So much for good intentions! I had actually set up my own web page, but could not get it to do all I wanted. Then the hosting fees kicked in and I finally shut it down. There is so much that I want to do with blogging, but simply haven't found the format I'm comfortable with yet. Now here I am, end of the year, with four months of inactivity on my blog; who's going to "follow" that?

As usual, a lot has been going on here. Spent most of the summer, outside of my New Orleans trip, gardening and running yard sales. We sold a lot of tools and personal items, trying to raise money for our new roof, but in reality, only keeping ourselves afloat. I did have my week-with-the-grandkids before school started. It was fun to have them here, a blessing that my son Alma stayed with us to help out with his two year old, and I was reminded again of what it really means to "childproof" a home!

Got to go to California in October. It was harp business, but we took a day to drive down from Pasadena to Vista, where I grew up. Played on the beach in Carlsbad, showed John around in some of the places I could still recognise. The little town of avocado and orange groves, and winding streets, has been replaced by shopping centers, freeways and massive growth! I did get to see a couple of places I used to live, and we also had a wonderful visit with our harp customers, so it was a great opportunity.  I cried as we left the warmth and sunshine, though; it was already cooler back home.

Bucky has been lonely without Princess, his companion. We want to get another dog, but we are picky and can't afford to buy or pay to rescue a dog. I don't want a male that will challenge Bucky, or a female that won't be a good companion for him. We have feelers out, and trust that at the right time, a dog will come our way.

Cassandra has been through several jobs. It is so hard to find something sustaining with her limitations, and frankly, the people and environments she's worked in have been really difficult. Job Service isn't a lot of help. Even I am signed up now, although working outside of my home again after 30 years is a bit daunting.

Miss Hannah turned 18 last month; I am still adjusting to the concept! She is still in school, so it really hasn't changed a lot of things, but the reality is there, and I am trying to change how I see her. So far, she is happy to be at home, in school, and helping out around here. I have no more "children" at home. That feels odd.

I am supposed to be working online. I've had two bona-fide online jobs, but they are sporadic and not sufficient to sustain us. Mostly, though, I've had scam after scam show up in my inbox, just because I have looked online for work! It is very frustrating to try and sort through all the offers and promises to determine what is real or fake. I am amazed at the lengths these get-rich-quick places go to try and rope you in!

I had a great time at doTERRA Convention in September. Got to spend a whole day with Dr. Susan Lawton, which was an incredible blessing. Saw so many of my friends, even though Convention is impossibly big now and even more exhausting than before! SO many changes and growth in doTERRA! I came home energized to build my team, and have been having two classes a month ever since. I send out information and samples, teach and consult locally, and really hope to make progress and earn a living with doTERRA.

So now we are three days from Christmas and the Solstice is upon us. We have a small tree and decorations, and a few presents under the tree. Because of our finances, this is the least Christmas we've ever had. Even though my children are adults now, I still feel badly about not having the things we need and want. I have been sewing gifts for my grandchildren, and giving away things to my children. Still hoping for one of those Christmas Miracles, not just for "stuff", but because there is so much we need right now. It has been fun to continue our 12 Days of Christmas tradition of making treats for our neighbors and friends. We've had some gifts in return, and it is always fun to sample other people's goodies, as well. I have cooked every day for two weeks! I greatly enjoy the lights we have up, and the lighting of our Menorah for the past five days; the season of light has great significance for me, and I love having candles and Christmas lights! Even the diffusers join in the action, with their colored misting displays! The music always warms my soul, as well; I actually play Christmas music off and on all year!

Another son has a birthday in two days; his birth just before Christmas was very special for me, and he was my "LeBoyer" birth; being placed in a basin of water in a darkened delivery room when he was born, and

allowed to make a peaceful transition into this world. I intend to more fully post about that experience in a couple of days, so stay tuned! He has grown into a fine young man, and I'm very proud of him.

My spiritual journey has continued. Lots of soul searching these past months; seeing things through new eyes and being open to concepts that are changing a lot of my feelings and intentions towards my environment and the world. These are never easy things to define, and I am not preaching any religion or creed, but I expect some of what I am learning will creep into posts and I will get to share more with you as I move ahead.

I won't bore you with too much droning on, especially after such a long hiatus! Going to be more diligent here, explore all kinds of fun things and brag about my children, pets and livestock. I am practicing gratitude more and more each day, and I truly am grateful for my life, the opportunities I've had and have, and the people who enrich my experience. Thanks so much for sticking with me; please stay in contact, keep reading, and even comment once in awhile! I hope to keep mastering this, building my blog, and learning how to make it better and better! Wishing a wonderful holiday season for all of you; no matter what it is you celebrate, or if you are like me and enjoy it all!