You thought I had dropped off the map, didn't you? Truth is, I have had several personal challenges in the past six weeks, and trying to document and sort through what was going on was just too much. Three major events/issues were occuring all at once, and yes, I got overwhelmed.
Number one- I have needed to bring in some money to keep us going, beyond my current resources. I heard about an opportunity to work from home for an international company, 10-15 hours a week. Sounded perfect! I was accepted for the testing, downloaded the 160 pages of material, and proceeded to study. It was one of those one-chance tests, so I was pretty stressed about passing it. Only I didn't. That led to more stressing about finances. Three weeks later, out of the blue, I get offered to take the test again. More studying, praying, lots of focus and devoting a lot of time to it, and I passed. Thought I had it made! Then I start getting more study materials, more tests and practice on the website to fully learn all the standards and procedures. I am still not done getting it all figured out, even though I have been working for about a month now. There are updates, webinars, formats change...it has seemed to me like this is really taking over my life, and it's a lot more than 10-15 hours a week! I am hoping it will lessen as I get more proficient.
Number two- In the midst of all the studying and testing and stressing, I started having chest pains, and my blood pressure went up into the 200's. Everybody in my life freaked out, even me. All my health progress went down the tubes. Went to the ER a couple of times, and all I got was a migraine and "normal" results. The second trip was actually in an ambulance- one of the most terrifying rides of my life. People, MOVE OVER when you see- or hear- those guys coming. I could see out the windows and there's no way on earth I would ever want to be behind the wheel in an ambulance. The benefit of sending me up at that point was to establish again that I was in serious trouble, although it wasn't a heart attack, and also so I could be referred for a stress test. A few days later I went up for that. Words cannot describe how awful I felt after the chemical injection; took me two hours to even start to feel normal! But all that came back normal, too, and it has really helped me to know that I don't have heart disease at this point. My Chiropractor has continued to help me deal with all of this, and my blood sugar has stabilized along with my blood pressure and there are no more chest pains. I am cleansing and exercising, and feeling a lot better about everything.
Number three- Not quite as easy to define. Spring. Family. Gardens. Chicks. Weather. I am always full of possibilities, dreams, plans, my own expectations for what I ought to be able to accomplish. Feeling ill and scared that I truly was headed for stroke or heart attack has really impacted my ability to enjoy Spring, plan and especially do all the things I want to. The mental adjustments the past two months have been like pendulum swings; positive and planning one moment, focusing on numbers and scary things the next. It hasn't been until the past three weeks that I've started feeling like I'm going to be ok and had the strength and focus to deal with being normal again. Well, normal for me! The pots are on the porch, waiting to be planted- it's still a bit early yet. My fountain is running in the front yard, framed by gorgeous tulips. Lots of family things being planned, I'm working in the greenhouse, raised some chicks that just went outside today, and we seem to be past that nasty stretch of cold temps from last month! Gaining some equilibrium, trying to schedule and have a new routine. So I'm hopeful and moving ahead.
Now it's the first of May, birthdays and graduations ahead, warmth and planting and letting go of the difficult winter, as well as 50 lbs of belly! I am serious about dropping weight and being able to wear clothes comfortably again. Getting all my systems on board, and being extra careful about what I'm eating, how I'm feeling, and what I expect of myself and others. Balance is the keyword for May!
Thanks for sticking with me and for sharing my posts with others. My audience is very small at this point, but I'm hoping it will grow and my experiences can touch others. I would love to hear your own Spring adventures and what you have planned- until next time!
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